1.i hate the fact that you like cars and the fact that you don't like football
2.i hate you for messing my place and mind with your dirty rubbish and bad flirting
3.i hate your cigar's smoke and your easily addicted attitude
4.i hate you cause you always know when i'm sick, when i tried so hard to hide it cause i don't like people to know.
5.i hate you for making me an addict and having bad influence on me
6.i hate you for taking advantage of me and treating me sweetly. somehow it feels fake.
7.i hate you for underestimating me and think i'm stupid. i kind of hear it from your heart.
8.i hate you for thinking that i am where i am because of my race and because i am a woman. like i don't have any effort. like i am not worth what i am now. same, kind of hear it from your heart.
9.i hate you for asking a lot of personal question and thinking that i'm different from any other women. and you told me your personal life, and i never ask for that.
10. and mostly i hate you because you are one of those men who thinks women are only worth in kitchen and in bed!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! I REALLY REALLY HATE YOU AND I AM TOO ANGRY AND FULL WITH HATRED! and that's why i cannot love a man because all men that i met is only full of crap and negative underestimation thinking.
maybe not all men, but just prove me wrong. cause i only met this kind of men
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
too much Mucho
spice girls sang too much of something is bad enough
then Cheryl Cole sang, too much of anything can make you sick
but how can you quantify too much? how much is too much?
is it when someone calls you every one hour.
or someone comes and sees you every 2 hours.
or someone left her things around you.
or when someone left her clothes around your body.
or when someone drives your car. even worse drive you crazy.
or when someone sleeps beside you everyday.
or when someone just stare at you.
or when someone talks too much.
when someone appears too much in your dreams.
or when you need to meet someone 6days a week.
or when someone is good enough or smart enough to make you don't want to move on even though you know that it is wrong.
but how can i quantify you as too much in my life?
if i have this someone kind of person, i will get rid of her. i just don't like the idea of "too much"
then Cheryl Cole sang, too much of anything can make you sick
but how can you quantify too much? how much is too much?
is it when someone calls you every one hour.
or someone comes and sees you every 2 hours.
or someone left her things around you.
or when someone left her clothes around your body.
or when someone drives your car. even worse drive you crazy.
or when someone sleeps beside you everyday.
or when someone just stare at you.
or when someone talks too much.
when someone appears too much in your dreams.
or when you need to meet someone 6days a week.
or when someone is good enough or smart enough to make you don't want to move on even though you know that it is wrong.
but how can i quantify you as too much in my life?
if i have this someone kind of person, i will get rid of her. i just don't like the idea of "too much"
Monday, December 20, 2010
and everytime you go, it hurts me so
why people make saying goodbye a grand thing. goodbye should be something that you want to avoid. but sometimes, goodbye hurts you, but it makes other people in a better position.
and everyday goodbye is also painful. what if that is the last goodbye. i hate saying goodbye. waving hands. i feel awkward in between of this situation. hugs and kisses.
saying goodbye to family everytime i have to leave them. what's hiding behind this cold face, only god knows.
and i hate the fact, that someone called me, just to say she's leaving. or someone come to me, said she's leaving. you know, the kind of everyday goodbye. just to inform you that i'm leaving you right now.
and when she came sit next to me, and telling me, i'm leaving right now. but still, she sat there. waiting for me to say anything. to respond in a warm way. then i just say, OK. cold. smile a little bit and then pretending to continue what i was doing in a peaceful way, but deep down in my heart, i was really pissed off she had to go, everytime. i miss that moment. are we going to have the same moment, again?
"You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't." - Meredith Grey
and everyday goodbye is also painful. what if that is the last goodbye. i hate saying goodbye. waving hands. i feel awkward in between of this situation. hugs and kisses.
saying goodbye to family everytime i have to leave them. what's hiding behind this cold face, only god knows.
and i hate the fact, that someone called me, just to say she's leaving. or someone come to me, said she's leaving. you know, the kind of everyday goodbye. just to inform you that i'm leaving you right now.
and when she came sit next to me, and telling me, i'm leaving right now. but still, she sat there. waiting for me to say anything. to respond in a warm way. then i just say, OK. cold. smile a little bit and then pretending to continue what i was doing in a peaceful way, but deep down in my heart, i was really pissed off she had to go, everytime. i miss that moment. are we going to have the same moment, again?
"You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't." - Meredith Grey
Friday, December 17, 2010
walk on by
If you have a feeling, and the feeling is going nowhere, just let the feeling pass by. Just wait. It will pass eventually. It might be painful, but it will pass. Just wait
Saturday, December 11, 2010
have you ever?
Have you ever been so close to someone until you can taste their smell and scent on your clothes?
Friday, December 10, 2010
car conversation
i am a very passionate person, and enthusiastic. but somehow, i just cannot express it by words and facial expression.
i am a little bit passionate when talking about football, but somehow play it safe cause i don't know that much. i am only expressive with my family and very very close friends. with crushes. hypocrites terus! i just stood there like stones. yes. no. smile.
i was with my friend and he started talking about his religion. he said that (what i understand) he don't really agree with some of his religion practice. then he asked me about jumaat prayer, and daily prayer. he thought only men go to prayer. then he said that he saw in cinema muslim women pray with white cloth and everything. then he started saying that he doesn't like some muslims who openly don't pray and fast. but he cannot do anything because none of his business. he also said that (mentioning name) is asking for bribery, but what's the point of praying. i didn't say it directly but somehow my words make us understand that he didn't even pray.
and he said that people went for hajj don't even fast. i started to explain so enthusiastically, i think he even notice my enthusiasm. thank god im not driving. then he teased me in the middle of explanation, trying to say im talking about someone we know. (actually he likes to tease me but i'm always acting cool/cold) but this time because i am too excited talking about it, i am so pissed off i hit him. really. and he was so entertained by that. that was so spontaneous which is not me. so we continue again but our conversation was interrupted when we reached our destination. i really want to ask him to come to the sunday class. really. huhu. but i don't think he will
i am a little bit passionate when talking about football, but somehow play it safe cause i don't know that much. i am only expressive with my family and very very close friends. with crushes. hypocrites terus! i just stood there like stones. yes. no. smile.
i was with my friend and he started talking about his religion. he said that (what i understand) he don't really agree with some of his religion practice. then he asked me about jumaat prayer, and daily prayer. he thought only men go to prayer. then he said that he saw in cinema muslim women pray with white cloth and everything. then he started saying that he doesn't like some muslims who openly don't pray and fast. but he cannot do anything because none of his business. he also said that (mentioning name) is asking for bribery, but what's the point of praying. i didn't say it directly but somehow my words make us understand that he didn't even pray.
and he said that people went for hajj don't even fast. i started to explain so enthusiastically, i think he even notice my enthusiasm. thank god im not driving. then he teased me in the middle of explanation, trying to say im talking about someone we know. (actually he likes to tease me but i'm always acting cool/cold) but this time because i am too excited talking about it, i am so pissed off i hit him. really. and he was so entertained by that. that was so spontaneous which is not me. so we continue again but our conversation was interrupted when we reached our destination. i really want to ask him to come to the sunday class. really. huhu. but i don't think he will
Sunday, December 5, 2010
owh mandy, mend me
my life is already dark. very dark. my thoughts are dark. my heart is dark from all my sins. my blog background is dark. my skin is getting darker from working under hot sun. and now, the light bulb in my room just burn out. and it is getting so dark in here.
looking at the positive side, i started to open up my window and door. i don't like to open my window and door. i like to lock myself up, really. my housemate barely see me. so i open up my window during day to let the sunlight in. i guess that goes the song sunshine through my window whatever ever. then at night, i open up my door to get the light from living rooms and kitchen. hi housemates! you know it means literary and non-literary.
you are getting used with the light, and when the darkness came, you don't let yourselves stay in it. find other options. sometimes the options are better. like in this case i can get more vitamin D with sunshine and i get to see people, more. grow up and be positive! ok scary.
but i really cannot read in the dark, and my eyes are hurt, and it causes head aches. ok. stop complaining. life is too short to complain.
well i said i got a feeling, maybe the grass looks greener and the food tastes better (WTF?). seriously, and i met someone i want to meet when i looked at the pic for the first time. they look slightly alike. and really, i got a feeling yesterday that i'm going to meet someone. didn't you read my last post. i am a psychic, or psycho. haaaa
looking at the positive side, i started to open up my window and door. i don't like to open my window and door. i like to lock myself up, really. my housemate barely see me. so i open up my window during day to let the sunlight in. i guess that goes the song sunshine through my window whatever ever. then at night, i open up my door to get the light from living rooms and kitchen. hi housemates! you know it means literary and non-literary.
you are getting used with the light, and when the darkness came, you don't let yourselves stay in it. find other options. sometimes the options are better. like in this case i can get more vitamin D with sunshine and i get to see people, more. grow up and be positive! ok scary.
but i really cannot read in the dark, and my eyes are hurt, and it causes head aches. ok. stop complaining. life is too short to complain.
well i said i got a feeling, maybe the grass looks greener and the food tastes better (WTF?). seriously, and i met someone i want to meet when i looked at the pic for the first time. they look slightly alike. and really, i got a feeling yesterday that i'm going to meet someone. didn't you read my last post. i am a psychic, or psycho. haaaa
Friday, December 3, 2010
a lazy working saturday
lack of manpower, is exhausting
multitasking, is exhausting
having a non-compromise boss, is exhausting
having stomach cramp, is exhausting
not able to pray, is exhausting
oily face and sweaty body, is exhausting
have to walk for miles everyday during this time of month, is exhausting
backache, is exhausting
don't have time (or money) to eat (but have time to blog??), is exhausting
not able to whine and complain (except blogging), is exhausting
having a friend who does not want to accept a friend request, is exhausting (kantoi plak tu)
and hating you is the most exhausting. your smile and your sunshine personality, seriously exhausting. assuming that you just faking it to get through the day, is more exhausting.
so, after work, go home, watch good dramas. and sleep. tomorrow morning will go to somewhere over the rainbow. i got a feeling. well.
ps - even when i have a lot of work, when people ask, i will say that - not much work. cause i don't like to complain like a baby. but here in my blog, kasihan readers, have to read all the whining things. i get annoyed with myself too.
multitasking, is exhausting
having a non-compromise boss, is exhausting
having stomach cramp, is exhausting
not able to pray, is exhausting
oily face and sweaty body, is exhausting
have to walk for miles everyday during this time of month, is exhausting
backache, is exhausting
don't have time (or money) to eat (but have time to blog??), is exhausting
not able to whine and complain (except blogging), is exhausting
having a friend who does not want to accept a friend request, is exhausting (kantoi plak tu)
and hating you is the most exhausting. your smile and your sunshine personality, seriously exhausting. assuming that you just faking it to get through the day, is more exhausting.
so, after work, go home, watch good dramas. and sleep. tomorrow morning will go to somewhere over the rainbow. i got a feeling. well.
ps - even when i have a lot of work, when people ask, i will say that - not much work. cause i don't like to complain like a baby. but here in my blog, kasihan readers, have to read all the whining things. i get annoyed with myself too.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Nothing, Just Another Sad Ending
i used to like big brown eyes nino.
the wide smile which makes the eyes smaller don't count.
the dark stare is much more than that.
the sunshine just cannot get through my brain.
somehow, behind those wide smiles, i see sad eyes.
i see it in others before. and my judgment could be true.
but when you sit there, all your spine and back bones lay restlessly on the chair.
staring at me with sad eyes which getting smaller when you laugh.
trying to make me grin and feel uncomfortable.
i hate it when you do those jokes, but i feel empty when you stop doing that things you do.
it is some kind of entertainment for people who is lifeless. keep haunting keep haunting with your sad eyes. keep judging keep judging with sunshineless mind.
in my dream, will you give your love to me?
beg my broken heart to beat
save my life, change my mind!
- evanescensce
the wide smile which makes the eyes smaller don't count.
the dark stare is much more than that.
the sunshine just cannot get through my brain.
somehow, behind those wide smiles, i see sad eyes.
i see it in others before. and my judgment could be true.
but when you sit there, all your spine and back bones lay restlessly on the chair.
staring at me with sad eyes which getting smaller when you laugh.
trying to make me grin and feel uncomfortable.
i hate it when you do those jokes, but i feel empty when you stop doing that things you do.
it is some kind of entertainment for people who is lifeless. keep haunting keep haunting with your sad eyes. keep judging keep judging with sunshineless mind.
in my dream, will you give your love to me?
beg my broken heart to beat
save my life, change my mind!
- evanescensce
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
A Messy Tale
Case 1
when someone being in a relationship for too long, or after one break up, she'll easily get the rebound guy. then, she cannot stay single for so long. she will be very dependent. she will say i will enjoy this time of being single. then she starts to attract all of the people attention, through networks. try to be inspired and be positive minded. starting to bother all the friends that she doesn't really care when she had the-whatsoever-one. starting to sing songs like single ladies and independent women. which is ironic because - hey you are not that independent!!
Case 2
and when someone stays single for so long. she will become loveless. bitter. independent. and comfortable with that zone. and she will be annoying with the case 1 people. she will be too attached with friends and family. sometimes, when she met with the-whatsoever-one, she cannot give all, and give up on him, because she scared/ or don't want to loose the people she loved behind. she is afraid to be like the people in Case 1. very dependent. she saw how their hearts were broken, and they tried hard to mend it. she feels pity and sometimes annoying towards these people. and these people happen to be their loved one. family. friends. so she hates them, and she loves them too.
Case 3
A friend of mine once told me that he will wait for his sisters (younger) to be married first. as the first child of the family. then after he has no longer responsible towards his sisters, he will get married. but he is now getting married and his sisters don't even have boyfriends! he told me too that he left his car at his hometown so his sisters and parents can use the car. he better off motorcycle. ( oh what a man!) but the truth is, his girlfriend used his car to work. he always kind of said that his girlfriend will listen to him. but the truth is, when his girlfriend accused him for having an affair with his friend, he cannot say a word, or defend himself or his friend. coward. this kind of boy, will make up stories that prince charming really exist. and those kind of ignorance girls will believe it anyway, especially the girl in case 1. which case 2 women will hate the most.
Case 4
a man, who never defended himself in front of his boss, though he is right, is defending his colleague when his boss go and yell at her too. and he is obviously not a malay man. case 2 women, may fall for this kind of men, but, as i said earlier, she will be terrified, and run away again.
Case 5
I used to be fernando. but now i am plain boring and messy.
when someone being in a relationship for too long, or after one break up, she'll easily get the rebound guy. then, she cannot stay single for so long. she will be very dependent. she will say i will enjoy this time of being single. then she starts to attract all of the people attention, through networks. try to be inspired and be positive minded. starting to bother all the friends that she doesn't really care when she had the-whatsoever-one. starting to sing songs like single ladies and independent women. which is ironic because - hey you are not that independent!!
Case 2
and when someone stays single for so long. she will become loveless. bitter. independent. and comfortable with that zone. and she will be annoying with the case 1 people. she will be too attached with friends and family. sometimes, when she met with the-whatsoever-one, she cannot give all, and give up on him, because she scared/ or don't want to loose the people she loved behind. she is afraid to be like the people in Case 1. very dependent. she saw how their hearts were broken, and they tried hard to mend it. she feels pity and sometimes annoying towards these people. and these people happen to be their loved one. family. friends. so she hates them, and she loves them too.
Case 3
A friend of mine once told me that he will wait for his sisters (younger) to be married first. as the first child of the family. then after he has no longer responsible towards his sisters, he will get married. but he is now getting married and his sisters don't even have boyfriends! he told me too that he left his car at his hometown so his sisters and parents can use the car. he better off motorcycle. ( oh what a man!) but the truth is, his girlfriend used his car to work. he always kind of said that his girlfriend will listen to him. but the truth is, when his girlfriend accused him for having an affair with his friend, he cannot say a word, or defend himself or his friend. coward. this kind of boy, will make up stories that prince charming really exist. and those kind of ignorance girls will believe it anyway, especially the girl in case 1. which case 2 women will hate the most.
Case 4
a man, who never defended himself in front of his boss, though he is right, is defending his colleague when his boss go and yell at her too. and he is obviously not a malay man. case 2 women, may fall for this kind of men, but, as i said earlier, she will be terrified, and run away again.
Case 5
I used to be fernando. but now i am plain boring and messy.
Monday, November 29, 2010
close to you
1. we'll arrive at the airport.
Madrid-Barajas International Airport Terminal 4
you can travel in this country by bus or train.
2. madrid aka raul gonzalez
Manzanares River in Madrid
Catedral de la Almudena, Madrid
3. Alhambra (arabic meaning the red castle)
Madrid-Barajas International Airport Terminal 4
you can travel in this country by bus or train.
2. madrid aka raul gonzalez
Manzanares River in Madrid
Catedral de la Almudena, Madrid
3. Alhambra (arabic meaning the red castle)
Alhambra Palace 
The Church – Cathedral of Cordoba Spain, popularly know as the Mosque of Cordoba or the “Mezquita”, stands over a Christian church built in the Visigothic period (5th C).
4. setenil de las bodegas - city under rock
5. Valencia aka ex-david silva
Night view of Ciutat de les Arts i les Ciències, València - city of arts and sciences
6. Barcelona aka David Villa
Palau Nacional, Barcelona
7. Northern Spain
Islets near Liencres in Piélagos, Cantabria, Spain
8. Spanish Language
3rd most spoken language in the world.
9. spanish football.
spanish football clubs is world wide know especially real madrid and barcelona. spanish football team won 2010 world cup and 2008 euro. - spanish stadium is a must!
10. spanish tour guide/ people. aka as spanish language teacher. please choose. anyone.
p/s - i want the leftest one.
sapa nak pergi spain?????
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Monday, November 22, 2010
Dead Garden
I don't know whether it is pathetic, or special.
but what she wants, no one wants.
she was trapped with her very own fantasy land.
but colours with brutal reality.
she is too realistic,
no one can take it.
she feels like killing everyone who looks at her,
but no one get killed.
have you ever listen to her story?
where she built this fence around her garden,
then came this mindless careless stranger.
causing chaos to the garden,
dismantling the fence, pieces by pieces,
plucking the flowers, squeezing the fruits,
until nothing left.
she has to start over, everything, her garden, her orchard, her passion.
it took 7 years to grow it all over again.
but she was broke, she didnt have enough money to build strong fence and buy good seed of fruits and flowers.
so she just play cheap. cheap gardening tools.
her garden is fragile. but thats how she lives right now.
she is more careful right now. she even sleeps in her garden.
do you know her story?
have you ever been to her messed-up garden?
but what she wants, no one wants.
she was trapped with her very own fantasy land.
but colours with brutal reality.
she is too realistic,
no one can take it.
she feels like killing everyone who looks at her,
but no one get killed.
have you ever listen to her story?
where she built this fence around her garden,
then came this mindless careless stranger.
causing chaos to the garden,
dismantling the fence, pieces by pieces,
plucking the flowers, squeezing the fruits,
until nothing left.
she has to start over, everything, her garden, her orchard, her passion.
it took 7 years to grow it all over again.
but she was broke, she didnt have enough money to build strong fence and buy good seed of fruits and flowers.
so she just play cheap. cheap gardening tools.
her garden is fragile. but thats how she lives right now.
she is more careful right now. she even sleeps in her garden.
do you know her story?
have you ever been to her messed-up garden?
Sunday, November 21, 2010
slow night, so long
what happens in seven years, backward or forward.
what happen in big grey's life.
as we can see from season 1 until episode 709, so many things change.
bailey, who was the nazi, now has a bunch of hanging out friends at bar! and is talking about her love life, though she was drunk that time.
chief, still the chief, though been down once. but now, the easy kind of chief.
izzie, who was perfectly perfect, with the beauty and the brain, was diagnose with brain tumor, became bald, marrying her once-to-be-enemy and divorced. and we dont know where is she now.
george, who was a nice man, cheating on his wife with his best friend and died because of the bus accident. tragic.
alex, who was a bad boy, and meredith, cristina and izzie sickly hate him, became their good friend.
cristina, who was the best, the smartest, and the toughest, is leaving the surgical program and became the bartender.
meredith, who was dark and twisty, who afraid to fall in love. who didnt want to have roommates. now, is happily married, and has 5 roommates. thats a lot.
life is unexpected. we try to plan, and make it accordingly. but things happen. if we look back what we were 7 years ago. is it a huge different or still the same. our biggest problem 7 years ago is chemistry teacher. and how to hide the forbidden things like cellphones from our hostel wardens.
and what are we now? still the same?
and what will we be? in 7 years. will we break like cristina, or die like george? or still standing where we are now.
life is too short to wander around. make it happens. do things that we want to do. spontaneous, or well-planned. do not be too careful or too careless.
and the best line for this episode..
Meredith: Remember when the chief said only two of us would make it?
Alex and Meredith: I thought it would be me and Cristina.
-grey's anatomy 709.
live the unexpected. who will expect i will eventually marry fernando torres someday?hahahaha. muchas gracias.
what happen in big grey's life.
as we can see from season 1 until episode 709, so many things change.
bailey, who was the nazi, now has a bunch of hanging out friends at bar! and is talking about her love life, though she was drunk that time.
chief, still the chief, though been down once. but now, the easy kind of chief.
izzie, who was perfectly perfect, with the beauty and the brain, was diagnose with brain tumor, became bald, marrying her once-to-be-enemy and divorced. and we dont know where is she now.
george, who was a nice man, cheating on his wife with his best friend and died because of the bus accident. tragic.
alex, who was a bad boy, and meredith, cristina and izzie sickly hate him, became their good friend.
cristina, who was the best, the smartest, and the toughest, is leaving the surgical program and became the bartender.
meredith, who was dark and twisty, who afraid to fall in love. who didnt want to have roommates. now, is happily married, and has 5 roommates. thats a lot.
life is unexpected. we try to plan, and make it accordingly. but things happen. if we look back what we were 7 years ago. is it a huge different or still the same. our biggest problem 7 years ago is chemistry teacher. and how to hide the forbidden things like cellphones from our hostel wardens.
and what are we now? still the same?
and what will we be? in 7 years. will we break like cristina, or die like george? or still standing where we are now.
life is too short to wander around. make it happens. do things that we want to do. spontaneous, or well-planned. do not be too careful or too careless.
and the best line for this episode..
Meredith: Remember when the chief said only two of us would make it?
Alex and Meredith: I thought it would be me and Cristina.
-grey's anatomy 709.
live the unexpected. who will expect i will eventually marry fernando torres someday?hahahaha. muchas gracias.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
eat.pray.sleep
recently i have this dry lips problem. so yesterday i decided to wear some lip gloss/balm to work. usually i wear it before sleep if my lips dry.
usually i go to work from home at 7.30 but yesterday i went at 7.00am. and a lorry is blocking my car. i tried to push the lorry (hands break down even!) it didn't move at all, luckily there are a few men came and help me. then i went to petrol station and while i did the petrol station business, the uncle came and interview me. which is weird because usually i don't look inviting.
then i went to work, through the road i seldom use.. and i was LOST!! but not that far. thank god.
that day, i went to site 3 times (usually 2 times)
and here comes night.
so my colleague promised me to send the daily report to me so i can send to my boss. i have completed mine and waiting for his, so i could send to boss, offline and go to sleep.
i text his company number and he didnt reply. i text his personal number and there goes our text conversation
me: nak hantar report ke x? kalau x aku send dlu
he: sape ni?
me: (mentioning my boss name, its a joke!!!)
he: ni tunang dia.. ni kan personal no.tq
(so i didnt reply)
he (or she actually):nape slalu sgt msg dia bkn wktu keje?hari kerje boleh ckpkan
(mls nk lyn)
he/she: ada hati dgn dia ke?slalu sgt msg2.tau x kami dh kawan 10thn.tlg cube jgn ganggu hubungan ni.
(so i finally replied. to clear things)
me: td suruh hantar daily report nak hantar kt boss.xpelah.pesan kt dia nanti hantar time office hour. sorry saya pun dah ada bf jugak dont worry k
(hahahaha monologue dlmn)
he/she: ko msg lg aku gtau bpk (his name) perkara ni
then she text again. this time it was like HE is the one who replied:
he: weh ko tolong jgn ganggu aku lagi.aku x nk ko call atau msg no ni lg.
(i didnt reply. i just shut down the hp and went to sleep. the next morning, today i received an sms from unknown number
she: aku mintak tlg whai perempuan hamba tuhan, ko jgn msg tunang aku lg boleh x.ape motif ko.knp slalu msg dia. apa mslh ko. hal keje kt tmpt keje.x perlu msg2,jgn jadi perempuan jenis x malu.mlm pun nk msg hal keje. ni last
my comment.
i was so shocked at first. but then it turns out funny. luckily i dont lose my temper and handle it like a woman.seriously can you be professional. this is obviously about work. and did you really know the real him?? we are nothing. he even thinks i am a lesbian(ehem). he even talked about his affairs and girls issue, even when he is already with you.he already cheated on you, but not with me. we're talking about football and stuff. with him, i am totally gay. we are like marc and callie. we have past and history, but now we are good friends. she is ruining the friendship thing. i used to laugh at him when i saw his facebook. and his fiancee whatever, tagged him in every of her status. i wish i could laugh together about this with him. as he always make fun of me too.
thank you.
emo mode switched off
btw, i don't know, maybe it is from the lip gloss/balm thing
and sorry if you think this is something personal to talk about.
turning on the straight mode!!!
usually i go to work from home at 7.30 but yesterday i went at 7.00am. and a lorry is blocking my car. i tried to push the lorry (hands break down even!) it didn't move at all, luckily there are a few men came and help me. then i went to petrol station and while i did the petrol station business, the uncle came and interview me. which is weird because usually i don't look inviting.
then i went to work, through the road i seldom use.. and i was LOST!! but not that far. thank god.
that day, i went to site 3 times (usually 2 times)
and here comes night.
so my colleague promised me to send the daily report to me so i can send to my boss. i have completed mine and waiting for his, so i could send to boss, offline and go to sleep.
i text his company number and he didnt reply. i text his personal number and there goes our text conversation
me: nak hantar report ke x? kalau x aku send dlu
he: sape ni?
me: (mentioning my boss name, its a joke!!!)
he: ni tunang dia.. ni kan personal no.tq
(so i didnt reply)
he (or she actually):nape slalu sgt msg dia bkn wktu keje?hari kerje boleh ckpkan
(mls nk lyn)
he/she: ada hati dgn dia ke?slalu sgt msg2.tau x kami dh kawan 10thn.tlg cube jgn ganggu hubungan ni.
(so i finally replied. to clear things)
me: td suruh hantar daily report nak hantar kt boss.xpelah.pesan kt dia nanti hantar time office hour. sorry saya pun dah ada bf jugak dont worry k
(hahahaha monologue dlmn)
he/she: ko msg lg aku gtau bpk (his name) perkara ni
then she text again. this time it was like HE is the one who replied:
he: weh ko tolong jgn ganggu aku lagi.aku x nk ko call atau msg no ni lg.
(i didnt reply. i just shut down the hp and went to sleep. the next morning, today i received an sms from unknown number
she: aku mintak tlg whai perempuan hamba tuhan, ko jgn msg tunang aku lg boleh x.ape motif ko.knp slalu msg dia. apa mslh ko. hal keje kt tmpt keje.x perlu msg2,jgn jadi perempuan jenis x malu.mlm pun nk msg hal keje. ni last
my comment.
i was so shocked at first. but then it turns out funny. luckily i dont lose my temper and handle it like a woman.seriously can you be professional. this is obviously about work. and did you really know the real him?? we are nothing. he even thinks i am a lesbian(ehem). he even talked about his affairs and girls issue, even when he is already with you.he already cheated on you, but not with me. we're talking about football and stuff. with him, i am totally gay. we are like marc and callie. we have past and history, but now we are good friends. she is ruining the friendship thing. i used to laugh at him when i saw his facebook. and his fiancee whatever, tagged him in every of her status. i wish i could laugh together about this with him. as he always make fun of me too.
thank you.
emo mode switched off
btw, i don't know, maybe it is from the lip gloss/balm thing
and sorry if you think this is something personal to talk about.
turning on the straight mode!!!Friday, November 12, 2010
Waiting for the end to come....
Jo was lying on the floor. she's at her lowest point. Anna came in. lying beside her, asking
Anna: what's wrong?
Jo: my best friend is going to get married.
Anna: that's a good news. you're suppose to be happy.
Jo: I suppose. i am the one who introduce her husband to her. all she ever wanted is to have a husband. and i don't want her to be alone.
Anna: but why you look so sad?
Jo: i feel so Alone. i already feel the distance.
Anna: (holding Jo's hand) You're not alone.
Jo was struggling to hold back the tears.
Anna: Just close your eyes. i will be here.
Jo closed her eyes for a few minutes. then when she opened, Anna was not there.
then Jo realized she was talking to herself. reminding her own self she is not alone. comforting her own self. Anna is herself. her name is Joanna.
Anna: what's wrong?
Jo: my best friend is going to get married.
Anna: that's a good news. you're suppose to be happy.
Jo: I suppose. i am the one who introduce her husband to her. all she ever wanted is to have a husband. and i don't want her to be alone.
Anna: but why you look so sad?
Jo: i feel so Alone. i already feel the distance.
Anna: (holding Jo's hand) You're not alone.
Jo was struggling to hold back the tears.
Anna: Just close your eyes. i will be here.
Jo closed her eyes for a few minutes. then when she opened, Anna was not there.
then Jo realized she was talking to herself. reminding her own self she is not alone. comforting her own self. Anna is herself. her name is Joanna.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
that's ME trying
once, my lecturer has told the whole class. why people are not interested in engineering. one of the reason is... there is no famous tv series or movies about engineering. whether it is too damn boring. or producers cannot make money from that.
last night i watched this one malay tv series. (terpaksa, housemate pasang hahaha) about contractor company. and most of his time, he's spending time with his gf. seriously, contractor has time for that. asyek bercenta je.
so, based on my experience, if contractor's life was made into movie. the most suitable title is
DIRTY.BOROI.MONEY.
1. dirty:
the contractor environment is so dirty. wearing dirty shirt everyday. dirty construction site. full of mud and dust. dirty site office.
and they talk dirty. i mean the dirty talk-you know what i mean.
and the money also dirty. bribery is a common corruption thing.
2.boroi:
they are not fat. some of them are even handsome. but all of them are totally boroi (english translation, bloated stomach) maybe it is from the dirty money. idk
3.money:
contractor's mind, 100% about money. VO- variation order , when client or consultant ask to add work. money! EOT- extension of time, when the date line is closer, we want to avoid penalty. money! bidding tender, dont mark up too high, we wont get the job. dont mark up too low, we wont get enough profit. money! searching for the lowest supplier's price. money! some money are dirty! back to rule number 1.
there's no life. life is money. love is just for entertainment. not commitment. cigarette is part of the oxygen. girls are such an entertainment. for people who dont suit, they'll quit. back stabbing and yelling is like eating lunch. diseases are everywhere. and it trains you to survive 24hours without food and sleep. surviving skills.
if you dont think it is boring, i can be the next malaysia shonda rhimes.
ohhh boring. but it is reality. reality is boring.
last night i watched this one malay tv series. (terpaksa, housemate pasang hahaha) about contractor company. and most of his time, he's spending time with his gf. seriously, contractor has time for that. asyek bercenta je.
so, based on my experience, if contractor's life was made into movie. the most suitable title is
DIRTY.BOROI.MONEY.
1. dirty:
the contractor environment is so dirty. wearing dirty shirt everyday. dirty construction site. full of mud and dust. dirty site office.
and they talk dirty. i mean the dirty talk-you know what i mean.
and the money also dirty. bribery is a common corruption thing.
2.boroi:
they are not fat. some of them are even handsome. but all of them are totally boroi (english translation, bloated stomach) maybe it is from the dirty money. idk
3.money:
contractor's mind, 100% about money. VO- variation order , when client or consultant ask to add work. money! EOT- extension of time, when the date line is closer, we want to avoid penalty. money! bidding tender, dont mark up too high, we wont get the job. dont mark up too low, we wont get enough profit. money! searching for the lowest supplier's price. money! some money are dirty! back to rule number 1.
there's no life. life is money. love is just for entertainment. not commitment. cigarette is part of the oxygen. girls are such an entertainment. for people who dont suit, they'll quit. back stabbing and yelling is like eating lunch. diseases are everywhere. and it trains you to survive 24hours without food and sleep. surviving skills.
if you dont think it is boring, i can be the next malaysia shonda rhimes.
ohhh boring. but it is reality. reality is boring.
raindrops keep falling on my head
kita tak patut bertembung kat simpang tu
tapi sebab jalan yang saya selalu lalu tu hari ni agak congested,
lalu saya ikut jalan awak.
dan awak bagi lampu tinggi kat saya.
awak, married.
kalau tak married pun, kita lain bangsa.
awak, talk about your marriage life all the time.
but awak at the same time flirting with me.
awak pernah tgk saya jatuh byk kali
bila saya tak stabil awak hulur tgn awak,
tapi saya ni konon2 nya kuat lah, baiklah, refuse.
and jatuh lagi akhirnya.
hari ni kita gaduh, awak tak contact langsung and panggil saya honey.
sebab kita penat with life.you run to your pasangan and anak
i got no where to run
so i'll stay here.alone at home.
i kind of missing your twisted words about love and money.
about life and to prove how naive i am.
the car conversation where noone could hear.
i miss you FERNANDO.
HHAHAHAHA NAK GELAK!!!
kisah ini mungkin benar mungkin tak benar. nak gelak lagi.
ok cukup.tak lawak. memang, i am fickle in love. so don't talk about love and commitment with me. at least, yet.
tapi sebab jalan yang saya selalu lalu tu hari ni agak congested,
lalu saya ikut jalan awak.
dan awak bagi lampu tinggi kat saya.
awak, married.
kalau tak married pun, kita lain bangsa.
awak, talk about your marriage life all the time.
but awak at the same time flirting with me.
awak pernah tgk saya jatuh byk kali
bila saya tak stabil awak hulur tgn awak,
tapi saya ni konon2 nya kuat lah, baiklah, refuse.
and jatuh lagi akhirnya.
hari ni kita gaduh, awak tak contact langsung and panggil saya honey.
sebab kita penat with life.you run to your pasangan and anak
i got no where to run
so i'll stay here.alone at home.
i kind of missing your twisted words about love and money.
about life and to prove how naive i am.
the car conversation where noone could hear.
i miss you FERNANDO.
HHAHAHAHA NAK GELAK!!!
kisah ini mungkin benar mungkin tak benar. nak gelak lagi.
ok cukup.tak lawak. memang, i am fickle in love. so don't talk about love and commitment with me. at least, yet.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
the four-letters word is...
we always think the 4-letters word is one of the most important thing in life.
last night i woke up at 2 am in the morning because i haven't perform my prayer yet. after about 3am. i when and checked the liverpool chelsea result. i'm ready for some brokenhearted result as liverpool performances really suck this season. shockingly won 2-0 over the no 1 champion chelsea. liverpool jumps from 16th place (out of 20) to 9th place. sweeterly, my boy scored both goals. oh my boy is back. i'm falling in love all over again.
i don't like to give high hope on things that i want the most. cause it will cause severe heart broken. when we expect the least, and the result is the most, the feeling will be over-joyed.
once a friend of mine laugh about the liverpool anthem, you'll never walk alone. she said that you are always alone actually. so the fans always stick? whatever whatever bimbo. of course we will never walk alone. if we don't have any friends, or family members, or our friends kick us out of her house, WE STILL HAVE GOD. that's why i'm not afraid to be alone. i went to langkawi, terengganu, then johore, kl alone. i knew noone there. everyone thinks i'm brave. only god knows how terrified i was. you can kick me out of your house, i don't care. i used to be independent and alone. i search for a new home myself. my family thought me to be independent. my mom never provide me with her house. i didn't gain 4k a month, working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, working in a big company doing nothing, through cables, or my relative. i work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, low-paid salary, searching my own job, at the same time finding my own home, ALL BY MYSELF. and thank god i have really good friends, supporting me. and of course family. i'm never alone. you can throw me anywhere. i am still a liverpool fan who never walk alone.
and i am not a fucking moron who thinks 23 years old is too old to not be married. and desperately obsess over beauty just to attract men. and take advantage of other people's money. and kick friends who i think is not compatible with me. or make reminders to my friends that they owe me as i am a really really fucking good person. if i am that person, i will allow my brother to hit me. oh thank god my parents thought my siblings VERY WELL, with a little bit of rebelious perhaps, so they don't go and hit me. or annoy their friends.
people like her, never hear advice, or take the positive side of bad comments, cause they're full of themselves. cause i tried to advice her so many times. all she did was, show her horsey face.
" i am the main character here. like rosalinda whatever. i am such a beauty with good personality and will have handsome rich nice husband whatever the fuck it is"
okay sorry i'm going to turn off the sarcastic mode.
Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams Be tossed and blown. Walk on Walk on With hope in your hearts And you'll never walk alone You'll never walk alone. -Liverpool Anthem
btw, the four-letters word is HOPE. :D
last night i woke up at 2 am in the morning because i haven't perform my prayer yet. after about 3am. i when and checked the liverpool chelsea result. i'm ready for some brokenhearted result as liverpool performances really suck this season. shockingly won 2-0 over the no 1 champion chelsea. liverpool jumps from 16th place (out of 20) to 9th place. sweeterly, my boy scored both goals. oh my boy is back. i'm falling in love all over again.
i don't like to give high hope on things that i want the most. cause it will cause severe heart broken. when we expect the least, and the result is the most, the feeling will be over-joyed.
once a friend of mine laugh about the liverpool anthem, you'll never walk alone. she said that you are always alone actually. so the fans always stick? whatever whatever bimbo. of course we will never walk alone. if we don't have any friends, or family members, or our friends kick us out of her house, WE STILL HAVE GOD. that's why i'm not afraid to be alone. i went to langkawi, terengganu, then johore, kl alone. i knew noone there. everyone thinks i'm brave. only god knows how terrified i was. you can kick me out of your house, i don't care. i used to be independent and alone. i search for a new home myself. my family thought me to be independent. my mom never provide me with her house. i didn't gain 4k a month, working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, working in a big company doing nothing, through cables, or my relative. i work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, low-paid salary, searching my own job, at the same time finding my own home, ALL BY MYSELF. and thank god i have really good friends, supporting me. and of course family. i'm never alone. you can throw me anywhere. i am still a liverpool fan who never walk alone.
and i am not a fucking moron who thinks 23 years old is too old to not be married. and desperately obsess over beauty just to attract men. and take advantage of other people's money. and kick friends who i think is not compatible with me. or make reminders to my friends that they owe me as i am a really really fucking good person. if i am that person, i will allow my brother to hit me. oh thank god my parents thought my siblings VERY WELL, with a little bit of rebelious perhaps, so they don't go and hit me. or annoy their friends.
people like her, never hear advice, or take the positive side of bad comments, cause they're full of themselves. cause i tried to advice her so many times. all she did was, show her horsey face.
" i am the main character here. like rosalinda whatever. i am such a beauty with good personality and will have handsome rich nice husband whatever the fuck it is"
okay sorry i'm going to turn off the sarcastic mode.
Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams Be tossed and blown. Walk on Walk on With hope in your hearts And you'll never walk alone You'll never walk alone. -Liverpool Anthem
btw, the four-letters word is HOPE. :D
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
you drive me crazy
imagine,
you are driving on the freeway. and you see a motorcycle through the side mirror. you give signal so you can change lane. and you don't see that motorcycle anymore. then you change your lane.
the truth is the motorcyclist is at your blind spot. you cannot see it because you are depending on your one side mirror only, without turning your head back, or looking at the other mirror. or using your brain fully. remember that the blind spot exists.
and you could crash into the motorcyclist. both of you could be dead. and if you are lucky enough, both of you will survive. who's fault is it? you are too ignorance about the blind spot. and he, on the other hand. is too selfish to realize the warning of signals. he think he's smart, he could still pass you. or he think you are generous to let him pass first.
on the road, you don't have time to think slow. you need to think fast. you need to be street smart. you need to make decision. because, the life is at risk when you are on road. one minute you could be perfectly healthy, and another minute, you could be dead. and sometimes, it's involving other people's life.
so does life. life is like driving on the road. one way street, highways, freeways, one lane road, and narrow road.
sometimes you have two choices of roads. using highway which is faster, wider, and less congestion. or you can have a free-toll and more congested road. there are always two factors to consider. money and time. but you might forget, the accident risk of the road.
there's always risk. and you have to decide.
but don't be too careful, it can cause congestion and accident too!
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach out a little more
More!
-Paramore, careful
p/s - hello, di sini ada maksud mendalam. kalau termampu untuk smart fikirlah.
you are driving on the freeway. and you see a motorcycle through the side mirror. you give signal so you can change lane. and you don't see that motorcycle anymore. then you change your lane.
the truth is the motorcyclist is at your blind spot. you cannot see it because you are depending on your one side mirror only, without turning your head back, or looking at the other mirror. or using your brain fully. remember that the blind spot exists.
and you could crash into the motorcyclist. both of you could be dead. and if you are lucky enough, both of you will survive. who's fault is it? you are too ignorance about the blind spot. and he, on the other hand. is too selfish to realize the warning of signals. he think he's smart, he could still pass you. or he think you are generous to let him pass first.
on the road, you don't have time to think slow. you need to think fast. you need to be street smart. you need to make decision. because, the life is at risk when you are on road. one minute you could be perfectly healthy, and another minute, you could be dead. and sometimes, it's involving other people's life.
so does life. life is like driving on the road. one way street, highways, freeways, one lane road, and narrow road.
sometimes you have two choices of roads. using highway which is faster, wider, and less congestion. or you can have a free-toll and more congested road. there are always two factors to consider. money and time. but you might forget, the accident risk of the road.
there's always risk. and you have to decide.
but don't be too careful, it can cause congestion and accident too!
You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach out a little more
More!
-Paramore, careful
p/s - hello, di sini ada maksud mendalam. kalau termampu untuk smart fikirlah.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Emergency Eye Wash
This is what we need, when chemical starts to react.
Effecting our whole anatomy.
From eyes to heart.
For your entertainment. The women, my top ten list.
ENJOY!
10. LEXIE GREY
i know she's messy, talks fast and could be annoying sometimes. but she is smart, at least in grey's. i don't have a thing with blondie. but when she turned blonde, it brings out her eyes. i never noticed before.
9. JESSICA ALBA
she's hot, blonde or not, with or without make up. i am like the ugly version of jessica alba. vomit!
8. HAYLEY WILLIAM
great music. great hair.
7. DAKOTA FANNINGS
she's not the typical young hollywood actress, full with gossips and whatsoever. and she is a talented young actress. proven in the runaways.
6. EMMA WATSON
she's smart. screw typical girl, let me cut my hair
5. KELLY CLARKSON
she's clean and talented. that's why she is not that famous
4. CALLIE TORRES
i love her even when she was straight. whatever!
3. ELLEN PAGE
i think she refuse to play typical girlish character. her smart face worth.
2. LET'S JUST CALL HER ANA. and i don't want to publish her picture here. hehehe
and the winner is
of course
1. KRISTEN STEWART
straight or not. rock star or not. vampire or not. awkward or not. still love her.
Effecting our whole anatomy.
From eyes to heart.
For your entertainment. The women, my top ten list.
ENJOY!
10. LEXIE GREY
i know she's messy, talks fast and could be annoying sometimes. but she is smart, at least in grey's. i don't have a thing with blondie. but when she turned blonde, it brings out her eyes. i never noticed before.9. JESSICA ALBA
she's hot, blonde or not, with or without make up. i am like the ugly version of jessica alba. vomit!8. HAYLEY WILLIAM
great music. great hair.7. DAKOTA FANNINGS
she's not the typical young hollywood actress, full with gossips and whatsoever. and she is a talented young actress. proven in the runaways.6. EMMA WATSON
she's smart. screw typical girl, let me cut my hair5. KELLY CLARKSON
she's clean and talented. that's why she is not that famous4. CALLIE TORRES
i love her even when she was straight. whatever!3. ELLEN PAGE
i think she refuse to play typical girlish character. her smart face worth.2. LET'S JUST CALL HER ANA. and i don't want to publish her picture here. hehehe
and the winner is
of course
1. KRISTEN STEWART
straight or not. rock star or not. vampire or not. awkward or not. still love her.Thursday, October 28, 2010
such a beautiful disaster
have you ever have something so beautiful,
something you enjoy the most,
but you cannot keep it?
it's like forbidden.
or it's just not right.
or you will ruin yourself.
HAVE you?
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
-Kelly Clarkson, beautiful disaster.
P.S. - listen to this song, it's a beautiful combination of words,melody and voice. especially the piano acoustic live version.
something you enjoy the most,
but you cannot keep it?
it's like forbidden.
or it's just not right.
or you will ruin yourself.
HAVE you?
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
-Kelly Clarkson, beautiful disaster.
P.S. - listen to this song, it's a beautiful combination of words,melody and voice. especially the piano acoustic live version.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
you and me, minus them..
I'll take your invitation.You take all of me now
-lifehouse
wtf?!?!?!?
we have some mutual friends. at the beginning, only one person knew. then two.
then someone read our messages. three.
fourth, is my close friend, cause i talked a little too much about what's happening, which is like impossible if it is nothing.
this is the mutual friends only.
avoiding.denying.tiring.
don't let those experience people know. i'll die then.
it is - i don't know if it's an affair or not. it is unusual for a normal human. it is US. in our own way. so don't judge. you'll never get the correct answer.
and i don't think that US will have our happy ending. just get ready for some tears-bursting thing.
and it's not my fault cause you started it first.huh!
-lifehouse
wtf?!?!?!?
we have some mutual friends. at the beginning, only one person knew. then two.
then someone read our messages. three.
fourth, is my close friend, cause i talked a little too much about what's happening, which is like impossible if it is nothing.
this is the mutual friends only.
avoiding.denying.tiring.
don't let those experience people know. i'll die then.
it is - i don't know if it's an affair or not. it is unusual for a normal human. it is US. in our own way. so don't judge. you'll never get the correct answer.
and i don't think that US will have our happy ending. just get ready for some tears-bursting thing.
and it's not my fault cause you started it first.huh!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Almost Grown
when we were younger, we can't wait to be grown up.
to be rich
to have own money, car, house.
to be beautiful
so we don't have to argue with our parents in order to have extra money
when i was younger, me and my siblings need to help my mother teaching her students in order to gain extra money. imagine i was 14 years old, teaching 9 years old kid. funny lahh.
when i was even younger, i followed my father to the market early morning every sunday, so i could buy my favorite comics. we don't have to work hard those days, but still we complained, as if we were the president of the most wrecked up country.
but as we are getting older, for sure life gets harder. without even realizing it, we are all alone.
our father is no longer our driver.
our mother is no longer our cook.
our sisters are no longer our roommates.
our brother is no longer our only boy friend.
friends come and go. and because we are too good or too optimistic, we don't realize that our own friend is backstabbing on us. working life is obviously different from study life. we keep saying no, though it is obvious. the environment said so. the people around us said so. then we began to be pessimist. we doubt everyone, even ourselves. prejudice is our very new best friend.
and we are getting less religious. cause we stopped listening to religious talk like we were in school, at least once a day. or at least we don't get the religious talk from our mother.
being independent is terrifying. but somehow, that's what all of us dream of right? oh wait, i remember you said that your dream is to marry handsome rich guy. so being independent is MY DREAM! so, alone, i'll catch this dream. i'll move forward, and if you wanna come along in this crazy ridiculous journey, you can come along.
We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that mess, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone.
Grey's anatomy 705
to be rich
to have own money, car, house.
to be beautiful
so we don't have to argue with our parents in order to have extra money
when i was younger, me and my siblings need to help my mother teaching her students in order to gain extra money. imagine i was 14 years old, teaching 9 years old kid. funny lahh.
when i was even younger, i followed my father to the market early morning every sunday, so i could buy my favorite comics. we don't have to work hard those days, but still we complained, as if we were the president of the most wrecked up country.
but as we are getting older, for sure life gets harder. without even realizing it, we are all alone.
our father is no longer our driver.
our mother is no longer our cook.
our sisters are no longer our roommates.
our brother is no longer our only boy friend.
friends come and go. and because we are too good or too optimistic, we don't realize that our own friend is backstabbing on us. working life is obviously different from study life. we keep saying no, though it is obvious. the environment said so. the people around us said so. then we began to be pessimist. we doubt everyone, even ourselves. prejudice is our very new best friend.
and we are getting less religious. cause we stopped listening to religious talk like we were in school, at least once a day. or at least we don't get the religious talk from our mother.
being independent is terrifying. but somehow, that's what all of us dream of right? oh wait, i remember you said that your dream is to marry handsome rich guy. so being independent is MY DREAM! so, alone, i'll catch this dream. i'll move forward, and if you wanna come along in this crazy ridiculous journey, you can come along.
We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that mess, we don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone.
Grey's anatomy 705
i lost myself
i used to wonder, how people can get addictive to drugs. how does it feels, to feel the needs. how do they even know that all they need is drug.
and recently i happen to have a lot of headaches, aching stomach, and difficulties to sleep. so i take this kind of medication, it is specialize for heavy toothache. i took it for 1 week, and then only i can go to bed.
then i stopped. cause i know this is unhealthy. my liver need to live for something.
and i already stopped for 1 week. and i feel something missing. the headaches getting heavy. insomniac is dancing every night. counting sheep doesn't help at all. and finally after 1 week of self-rehab, i lost myself into drugs again.
i cannot explain to myself how does it feels, but i know that the pills is what i need for me to breath again.
so this is how it feels to get messed up with the pills, drugs and medication.
and i don't want to end up like kurt cobain...
and recently i happen to have a lot of headaches, aching stomach, and difficulties to sleep. so i take this kind of medication, it is specialize for heavy toothache. i took it for 1 week, and then only i can go to bed.
then i stopped. cause i know this is unhealthy. my liver need to live for something.
and i already stopped for 1 week. and i feel something missing. the headaches getting heavy. insomniac is dancing every night. counting sheep doesn't help at all. and finally after 1 week of self-rehab, i lost myself into drugs again.
i cannot explain to myself how does it feels, but i know that the pills is what i need for me to breath again.
so this is how it feels to get messed up with the pills, drugs and medication.
and i don't want to end up like kurt cobain...
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Give Me Novacaine
warning: don't read if you hate me writing all about me, in a whiny annoying way
i have an asshole boss. who never satisfy even when i work almost 24 7. i have girls problems and boys issues. i was at the darkest moment of my life.
i always listen to people's problems. to people who is so obsess with themselves. why are they keep staring at me omg. i'm the main attention here. is my dressing too obvious.
i listen to people who perfectly fine.good job, high salary and obviously very nice boyfriend. but wants to create her own drama. i think my boyfriend doesn't really love me. when i asked why. replied,i just think. whether you are blind or stupid. and she added, i think he's not ready to get married. OBVIOUSLY you are just 23 and he has lots of sisters and family to take care of.
and i listen to people who have a real dark problem. cheating boyfriends. broken families. and daughters who don't want to get married, asshole boss like mine (really), and stupid colleague who thinks he's the boss. these are the real people with real problems. listening to others' problems make you feel less alone.
but when i have these kind of problems, i don't know how to express. i tried to call him, wishing for some kind of comfort, (though i'm not going to tell the problem). he didn't pick up. i understand he's as busy as me but what the fuck. i was there when he was dark and twisty. i listen all the time. i don't talk at all. I fucking listen. but where are you when i needed you the most. ok i don't care cause i don't really care. so i went into my office, make a scene to my colleague, i think he is the only person at my workplace that i can show the real me. he could see how mentally ill i was. he offered to do part of my works.good! he offered me to sit down and talk when he knew i have a personal problem. and he knew what is my personal problem! i could be obvious sometimes. i talked, finally. and it feels sooooooooooo fucking goooooooooooooooood!
now i'm going out having fun with my girl friend
tomorrow,
back into dark and twisty mode.
good night misery.
see you tomorrow.
i have an asshole boss. who never satisfy even when i work almost 24 7. i have girls problems and boys issues. i was at the darkest moment of my life.
i always listen to people's problems. to people who is so obsess with themselves. why are they keep staring at me omg. i'm the main attention here. is my dressing too obvious.
i listen to people who perfectly fine.good job, high salary and obviously very nice boyfriend. but wants to create her own drama. i think my boyfriend doesn't really love me. when i asked why. replied,i just think. whether you are blind or stupid. and she added, i think he's not ready to get married. OBVIOUSLY you are just 23 and he has lots of sisters and family to take care of.
and i listen to people who have a real dark problem. cheating boyfriends. broken families. and daughters who don't want to get married, asshole boss like mine (really), and stupid colleague who thinks he's the boss. these are the real people with real problems. listening to others' problems make you feel less alone.
but when i have these kind of problems, i don't know how to express. i tried to call him, wishing for some kind of comfort, (though i'm not going to tell the problem). he didn't pick up. i understand he's as busy as me but what the fuck. i was there when he was dark and twisty. i listen all the time. i don't talk at all. I fucking listen. but where are you when i needed you the most. ok i don't care cause i don't really care. so i went into my office, make a scene to my colleague, i think he is the only person at my workplace that i can show the real me. he could see how mentally ill i was. he offered to do part of my works.good! he offered me to sit down and talk when he knew i have a personal problem. and he knew what is my personal problem! i could be obvious sometimes. i talked, finally. and it feels sooooooooooo fucking goooooooooooooooood!
now i'm going out having fun with my girl friend
tomorrow,
back into dark and twisty mode.
good night misery.
see you tomorrow.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
a grieving sunday for a superfreak
Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don't realize they're a freak until it's way to late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there's still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they've already moved on. Because when it comes to love, even freaks can't wait forever.
-grey's anatomy season 7 episode 3- superfreak
have you ever felt like you're done waiting?
sunday should be a grieving day for me. as i stated before this, i enjoy the grieving mode. but because my boss is too crappy to let me grieve, so i have to work. instead of working, i woke up at 11 am. so i decided not to work. screw you work. i should enjoy the grieving sunday. i should enjoy the lonesomeness. i should enjoy the undisturbed moment.
so this is what i did
1. i did my laundry (i remember meredith did her laundry during her rare-to-find-off-day)
2 .i cooked. yes i'm not a good cook, i rarely cook. so cooking is a good way to release stress especially for non-cooker because you will concentrate and you used all your senses. touch taste smell sight and ear. (izzie baked a lot when denny died)
3. then i went for shopping. i mean grocery shopping. i think the last time i enjoy grocery shopping is two months ago. it feels much more better than clothes or shoes shopping. (cristina did grocery shopping when she found out that meredith is close to death from drowning)
lately i have lost the sense of taste. everything is tasteless. i lost my appetite. even when eating expensive food i feel nothing.
i cannot sleep at night. i have to swallow strong medication to fall asleep.
i woke up in the middle of night, remembering my undone work, so i switched on my laptop and did my work. it happens more than once.
i have tendency to suicide. or to hurt myself.
i cry a lot lately, until i got the eye infection. bad bad.
the worst part is, i don't know who i should tell my problems. or in other words, i don't trust people anymore to tell problems.
you can say i'm a freak. but i honestly cannot wait for you anymore. so i decided to move on.
-grey's anatomy season 7 episode 3- superfreak
have you ever felt like you're done waiting?
sunday should be a grieving day for me. as i stated before this, i enjoy the grieving mode. but because my boss is too crappy to let me grieve, so i have to work. instead of working, i woke up at 11 am. so i decided not to work. screw you work. i should enjoy the grieving sunday. i should enjoy the lonesomeness. i should enjoy the undisturbed moment.
so this is what i did
1. i did my laundry (i remember meredith did her laundry during her rare-to-find-off-day)
2 .i cooked. yes i'm not a good cook, i rarely cook. so cooking is a good way to release stress especially for non-cooker because you will concentrate and you used all your senses. touch taste smell sight and ear. (izzie baked a lot when denny died)
3. then i went for shopping. i mean grocery shopping. i think the last time i enjoy grocery shopping is two months ago. it feels much more better than clothes or shoes shopping. (cristina did grocery shopping when she found out that meredith is close to death from drowning)
lately i have lost the sense of taste. everything is tasteless. i lost my appetite. even when eating expensive food i feel nothing.
i cannot sleep at night. i have to swallow strong medication to fall asleep.
i woke up in the middle of night, remembering my undone work, so i switched on my laptop and did my work. it happens more than once.
i have tendency to suicide. or to hurt myself.
i cry a lot lately, until i got the eye infection. bad bad.
the worst part is, i don't know who i should tell my problems. or in other words, i don't trust people anymore to tell problems.
you can say i'm a freak. but i honestly cannot wait for you anymore. so i decided to move on.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
my life is suck already, you cannot make it better
if you cannot stick with me through this worse part.
if you cannot stay with me when i am at the end of my career.
if you cannot be with me when you know i don't have any future.
so you better get out of my life, completely!
if you cannot stay with me when i am at the end of my career.
if you cannot be with me when you know i don't have any future.
so you better get out of my life, completely!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
She is not Mrs. McDreamy
usually, when she is with the boys, she will be the boy too
she will drive the car, even the car is full with the boys
she will treat them (as if she has the higher salary)
and they will smoke and sometimes blow the smoke towards her.
yes rude, what boys are. at least she thought so.
but last night, he made her feel like a girl. except the fact that he owned 75 percent of the conversation.
he picked her up with she-doesn't-know-and-doesn't-care-whose-car-is-it
he treated her even his salary is lower
he sent her home
and he didn't smoke at all during the two-hours dinner.(even he's a heavy smoker)
he makes her feel like a girl.
she never thought she'll find one.
and now all she wants to do is numb herself.
she will drive the car, even the car is full with the boys
she will treat them (as if she has the higher salary)
and they will smoke and sometimes blow the smoke towards her.
yes rude, what boys are. at least she thought so.
but last night, he made her feel like a girl. except the fact that he owned 75 percent of the conversation.
he picked her up with she-doesn't-know-and-doesn't-care-whose-car-is-it
he treated her even his salary is lower
he sent her home
and he didn't smoke at all during the two-hours dinner.(even he's a heavy smoker)
he makes her feel like a girl.
she never thought she'll find one.
and now all she wants to do is numb herself.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Shock to the System
Cris: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. So, between the two of us, you and McDreamy should be fine. I thought it would fix me.
Mer: That’s not why he married you.
Cris: Oh, he didn’t marry me. He married a corpse. I’m dead inside.
Mer: I told Derek. About the miscarriage. I told him. You got married Cristina. For better, or for worse. This is the worse part. The thing is, there will be better parts. You should go back.
Cris: Yeah.
Mer: Yeah.
Owen: Cristina. You don’t feel nothing. Alright. You didn’t feel nothing today. You felt scared. You were terrified. You felt anger. You were angry at me. After what you’ve been through you’re allowed. Alright. That’s what you should be feeling. I know. Because, when I was there I felt all those things. And I… I took it all out on you. And you were patient, and you were kind. And you stayed through it. Because you love me. You love me. So ah, you can be scared with me. Or you can be pissed with me or at me. I don’t care. Cause, I’m gonna stay through it all. I’m not going anywhere Cristina. I’m not going anywhere without you.
Cris(to Owen): Lets go home.
Cris left
Mer(t0 Owen): I had already fixed her before you came. But, that was a nice speech.
Grey's Anatomy Season 7 episode 2
i think we are allowed to be terrified and to feel pissed off. we are allowed when the unexpected things are happening to us. even the unexpected is expected. even when we said we are ready for the lost. the truth is we are never ready for the lost. we are allowed to get angry when someone left us during the worse time. and we are allowed to be terrified when someone is really there, when we thought no one is actually there. for the optimist, you should be terrified when he left you. and for the pessimist, you should be terrified, even when he asked you out. even when it means nothing to him, and it means something to you. you should feel terrified, cause through the terrifying moment, there will be a change, for better. or for worse. - Fanny Torres (muahahaha)
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life
- Katherine McPhee
Friday, October 1, 2010
crushcrushcrush
what will you do, if you text someone like this : kau ni comel la (you are cute)
you've got the reply as: kau tu ngok ngek (you are crazy)
susu dibalas tuba!!!
i like to tease tease you, until you think you are blushing, blush, blush, you little spice!! crushcrushcrush
tease tease
spice spice
blush blush
crush crush
you've got the reply as: kau tu ngok ngek (you are crazy)
susu dibalas tuba!!!
i like to tease tease you, until you think you are blushing, blush, blush, you little spice!! crushcrushcrush
tease tease
spice spice
blush blush
crush crush
Terrified
laying on the floor
wanting some more
thinking
craving
staring at the sky
feeling so high
complicated
addicted
searching
missing
thinking
craving
wanting some more
thinking
craving
staring at the sky
feeling so high
complicated
addicted
searching
missing
thinking
craving
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Complication
I think you’re either born simple or you’re born… me. - Cristina Yang
after watching this episode of grey's anatomy, i decided to be simple, at least a day. so that day happened.
today i went to work as usual, the day was really good even there was heavy rain and heavy traffic all the way to work. the journey that should takes 1 hour turned to 1.5 hour. what a nice bubbly day.
i arrived at office. with a big smile starting my work. then i received a call from one of the supplier of my company. from his name i know he is a chinese man. so he said he wanted to meet me today, business relating thing. i don't really want to talk about it because i am simple, or simply siti or whatever. so he called me when he arrived, said that he waited at the gate. i went to the gate and search for the unfamiliar car. and one car caught my beautiful small eyes. omg that car caused 200,000. so i called him, and said to follow my car. we went to our destination.
after arrived at our destination, he went out from he's car, and there he is. perfection. he is a chinese man with fair skin, round eyes and sharp nose. when he shook my hand, i feel like the whole world stop spinning. then he asked me, whether i'm from spain or not because he saw my car plate number. so i said yes. and he said, he is too (wait a minute, how come a chinese can be spanish? okay, i don't care about this complicated fact). he is too perfect for me. expensive car. handsome face. hometown boy. and he seems nice. all a simple girl could ever dream.
so.. (business related thingsss). so he wanted to go back. i was so sad. he said he'll meet me again next week. i felt like jumping like a little child with pink long dress. i can't wait for my wedding day. then i drove back to my work place. suddenly my stomach felt sick. really. i cannot take it anymore. i can't. i felt like vomit. i really cannot take it anymore, to be simple!! suddenly i remember a shiny thing around his finger. thank god he's married.
maybe, i was born cristina. and sometimes, i wish to be simple. happy. shiny. nice. but i can't.
“God, the women in these magazines...Some of them are actually brides, you know? They're not all models....All smiling...It's like the only thing in the world that matters is that they find the perfect shoe to match that dress. God, you know, I knew these girls. I w... I went to school with them.It's funny. I used to feel sorry for them. They're simple girls. They just want to find the guy and get married, you know...live.I don't know. I think you're either born simple or you're born...Me.I want to be the person who gets happy over finding the perfect dress. I want to be simple. 'Cause no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl.”
after watching this episode of grey's anatomy, i decided to be simple, at least a day. so that day happened.
today i went to work as usual, the day was really good even there was heavy rain and heavy traffic all the way to work. the journey that should takes 1 hour turned to 1.5 hour. what a nice bubbly day.
i arrived at office. with a big smile starting my work. then i received a call from one of the supplier of my company. from his name i know he is a chinese man. so he said he wanted to meet me today, business relating thing. i don't really want to talk about it because i am simple, or simply siti or whatever. so he called me when he arrived, said that he waited at the gate. i went to the gate and search for the unfamiliar car. and one car caught my beautiful small eyes. omg that car caused 200,000. so i called him, and said to follow my car. we went to our destination.
after arrived at our destination, he went out from he's car, and there he is. perfection. he is a chinese man with fair skin, round eyes and sharp nose. when he shook my hand, i feel like the whole world stop spinning. then he asked me, whether i'm from spain or not because he saw my car plate number. so i said yes. and he said, he is too (wait a minute, how come a chinese can be spanish? okay, i don't care about this complicated fact). he is too perfect for me. expensive car. handsome face. hometown boy. and he seems nice. all a simple girl could ever dream.
so.. (business related thingsss). so he wanted to go back. i was so sad. he said he'll meet me again next week. i felt like jumping like a little child with pink long dress. i can't wait for my wedding day. then i drove back to my work place. suddenly my stomach felt sick. really. i cannot take it anymore. i can't. i felt like vomit. i really cannot take it anymore, to be simple!! suddenly i remember a shiny thing around his finger. thank god he's married.
maybe, i was born cristina. and sometimes, i wish to be simple. happy. shiny. nice. but i can't.
“God, the women in these magazines...Some of them are actually brides, you know? They're not all models....All smiling...It's like the only thing in the world that matters is that they find the perfect shoe to match that dress. God, you know, I knew these girls. I w... I went to school with them.It's funny. I used to feel sorry for them. They're simple girls. They just want to find the guy and get married, you know...live.I don't know. I think you're either born simple or you're born...Me.I want to be the person who gets happy over finding the perfect dress. I want to be simple. 'Cause no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl.”
Monday, September 27, 2010
Hanging by a moment
i am confused
i am at state of comfort
where i don't want to fall any deeper
or get over it already
i know i will get hurt eventually
i know this is going nowhere
i could feel
maybe i will run away again like i used to do
seeing the people around me getting hurt is enough for me to never get near it
sometimes i could feel you
sometimes i lost the sense of connection
i don't know
i'm afraid to move
i cannot completely accept it
and i cannot throw it all away
cause it feels so good with a little bit of blood in it
help me, help me to help myself
i am at state of comfort
where i don't want to fall any deeper
or get over it already
i know i will get hurt eventually
i know this is going nowhere
i could feel
maybe i will run away again like i used to do
seeing the people around me getting hurt is enough for me to never get near it
sometimes i could feel you
sometimes i lost the sense of connection
i don't know
i'm afraid to move
i cannot completely accept it
and i cannot throw it all away
cause it feels so good with a little bit of blood in it
help me, help me to help myself
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I hate this part right here
the conversation between me and the senior staff
he: kau pulak bila nak kawen..
me: hehehe
he: dah ada bf ke
me: mana ada lagi
he: jgn nk tipu lah, slalu je gayut, td pun bru je kluar gayut kan
me: hehe, xde ape. kwn je lah.
he: dh slalu gayut tu bf la kan.
me: eh xde lah
he: kenal blaja ke
me: errr..eh x lah masa keje
he: masa keje sblm sini?
me: errr yessss
he: degree?
me: diploma.
hhmmmmmmmm
(btw, this is seriously an issue in the family, the marriage, and the antara dua darjat whatever thing - monolog dalaman)
the truth is, 50% of the conversation is a lie. i'm not used to lie, but if i say yes, it is a lie, and no - is a lie too. what should i say then. if they only knew who the person is. choke choke
he: kau pulak bila nak kawen..
me: hehehe
he: dah ada bf ke
me: mana ada lagi
he: jgn nk tipu lah, slalu je gayut, td pun bru je kluar gayut kan
me: hehe, xde ape. kwn je lah.
he: dh slalu gayut tu bf la kan.
me: eh xde lah
he: kenal blaja ke
me: errr..eh x lah masa keje
he: masa keje sblm sini?
me: errr yessss
he: degree?
me: diploma.
hhmmmmmmmm
(btw, this is seriously an issue in the family, the marriage, and the antara dua darjat whatever thing - monolog dalaman)
the truth is, 50% of the conversation is a lie. i'm not used to lie, but if i say yes, it is a lie, and no - is a lie too. what should i say then. if they only knew who the person is. choke choke
Monday, September 20, 2010
Misery Business
I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away
-Brandi Carlile
-Brandi carlile writes her own songs
-she plays guitar
-her songs were featured in grey's anatomy so many times, including the story, throw it all away. turpentine, tragedy, what can i say and this song, hiding my heart away
-i guess she's a very dark and sad person, based on her songs
-my blog title, the story was inspired by her song
-she's a lesbian
-she's a gemini, that's a strong reason why she is so twisted,haha
p/s - even when you're sober, never ever call me again. I'm mending, after you broke me.
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away
-Brandi Carlile
-Brandi carlile writes her own songs
-she plays guitar
-her songs were featured in grey's anatomy so many times, including the story, throw it all away. turpentine, tragedy, what can i say and this song, hiding my heart away
-i guess she's a very dark and sad person, based on her songs
-my blog title, the story was inspired by her song
-she's a lesbian
-she's a gemini, that's a strong reason why she is so twisted,haha
p/s - even when you're sober, never ever call me again. I'm mending, after you broke me.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
It's All about me
i want to grieve
1.i don't want to meet anyone
2.i want to lock myself in my room and turn off all the light
3.i don't want to face the sunlight
4.i don't want to eat anything except for junk food
5.i just want to lay down on my thin mattress, trying hard to be sleeping
6.i want to cry like crazy
7.i want to sing sad songs loudly
but i can't. i have to work for money. my tight schedule doesn't allow me to do stupid things.
1.i have to meet people everyday, to solve problems. and sadly, all-men
2.i have to go to work everyday for me to keep on living, pay back my parents, and indirectly motivate to my younger siblings to work hard for life too.
3.everyday i'm not only facing the sunlight, but have to work under sunlight. hot!
4.i don't have time to eat junk food.
5.i don't have time to lay lazy except for sunday. all i do after work is go straight to sleep. i came home late everyday. no time to laze around.
6.i don't have time to cry like crazy.
7.i can only hear songs when i drive my car to and back from work.
but to grieve continuously is not healthy, you could end up like Ms. Havisham.
for you to pray, cry and beg to god is a real thing.
thank you,
yours faithfully,
the President of people with crappy life
1.i don't want to meet anyone
2.i want to lock myself in my room and turn off all the light
3.i don't want to face the sunlight
4.i don't want to eat anything except for junk food
5.i just want to lay down on my thin mattress, trying hard to be sleeping
6.i want to cry like crazy
7.i want to sing sad songs loudly
but i can't. i have to work for money. my tight schedule doesn't allow me to do stupid things.
1.i have to meet people everyday, to solve problems. and sadly, all-men
2.i have to go to work everyday for me to keep on living, pay back my parents, and indirectly motivate to my younger siblings to work hard for life too.
3.everyday i'm not only facing the sunlight, but have to work under sunlight. hot!
4.i don't have time to eat junk food.
5.i don't have time to lay lazy except for sunday. all i do after work is go straight to sleep. i came home late everyday. no time to laze around.
6.i don't have time to cry like crazy.
7.i can only hear songs when i drive my car to and back from work.
but to grieve continuously is not healthy, you could end up like Ms. Havisham.
for you to pray, cry and beg to god is a real thing.
thank you,
yours faithfully,
the President of people with crappy life
Friday, September 17, 2010
It's a man's world
You took me for granted
I dont understand it
Went looking for answers
I came up empty handed
But dont worry about me
Cause Im stronger than you think
And I know its a blessing
I came up empty handed
-Kelly Clarkson, Empty Handed
after this situation, i guess the sun sets before it even rises.
i have been the only woman here for one month. and it feels so damn boring. i need a girl to talk over. who listens. but i cannot even speak about it. speak SPEAK speak!!! oh kristen, help me :0
i guess whoever wrote this song was right,
This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
I dont understand it
Went looking for answers
I came up empty handed
But dont worry about me
Cause Im stronger than you think
And I know its a blessing
I came up empty handed
-Kelly Clarkson, Empty Handed
after this situation, i guess the sun sets before it even rises.
i have been the only woman here for one month. and it feels so damn boring. i need a girl to talk over. who listens. but i cannot even speak about it. speak SPEAK speak!!! oh kristen, help me :0
i guess whoever wrote this song was right,
This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Restless, adventureland
it was not the best movie of kristen stewart. but the taglines went right straight into my brain. really fits the company that i worked right now.
It was the worst job they ever imagined... and the best time of their lives.
Nothing brings people together like a crappy summer job.
Long hours. Low pay. High times.
we get really close even when we are not working at the same place (but still the same company). we rarely meet each other, just for big occasions, but it feels close, cause we share the same crappy problem. and we can talk like we're that close. we can talk on phones for hours. we can still be good co-workers though different races, religion, age rage and gender.
because we have the same crappy boss, who yells all the time and who expects us to be a robot without rest time.
and we're working like shit. almost 24 hours a day. and we are still working during sleeping time. it comes in the form of dreams...
and still working during public holidays.
and your co-workers still call each other during festive time about work.
and you cannot enjoy your holiday thinking about your pending works.
even when my pay is really really low compared to some people who have less work. just because they work in a big company.
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