Screw the screwdriver

unexpected, on how other people will think about you. sometimes it's true, and you don't realize your true self.
and sometimes, judgment goes wrong.

my new friend said that i'm scary and a heartless bitch because of my no-facial-expression. he even afraid to say hi to me for the first time because he thought that i would smash his head. but the truth is i am a very emotional person and YESSSS I FEEL LIKE SMASHING YOUR HEAD AND OTHER PEOPLE'S HEAD ALL THE TIME!!!!

my new close friend said that i don't care what other people think. because my weird sense of fashion (and she called me gaga for that), and i don't care if it's different from other people. actually it is because i wear scary animals brooch, like spider and scorpion, and i wear it upside down (because i'm a left-handed). but sometimes, at one point of your life, you do care.

and my close friend said that i'm a lesbian smoker who plays guitar. how twisted is that? or is it really true? btw, he's a close friend. and he even asked me to play guitar while he's singing.

sometimes you need to listen to other people's opinion. if it's bad, make it to improve yourself. if it's good, make it as an appreciation and value yourself.
and sometimes, just screw them, if you think that they're wrong.

and if you ever read my blog (i know there are not many readers.hua hua) please tell me what do you think about me..and i will write back what do i think about you, friends :D

try sleeping with a broken heart

so i spent 3hours on my bed (is not actually a bed, just a thin mattress)
and still no sign of sleepiness.
all i can see in the dark is things around me moving, statically.

so i switch on my laptop, and blogging.

i am so fucking sad because i cannot go to kelly clarkson's concert. i told myself a few years back that the only concert i will go is kelly's and i found it's impossible for her to come to malaysia cause she never came after all of her tours before this.

i am so fucked-up

i feel like stabbing someone 9 times straight to the heart, and let him live with a broken heart, with really ugly big scars. and i have the image of someone already.

i am so pissed-off with my job. with all the desperate girls and mindless boys.

and let myself drown in cherry bomb
and i feel bad!!!
and i feel sinful of my awkward desire. but i will let them stay in my mind only. lock them, and don't ever let them out. don't let my kristen stewart desire out!!!

Our Lady of Sorrows

no matter how talented you are, people will always judge your physical. I already know I'm ugly. but who are you to judge God's creation?

let's stay happy

i had a conversation with this guy. he called us, the unmarried 22-23 years old women as spinsters..
So i said there are a lot of reasons why women still haven't married yet. some of them still want to study. some of us are not financially stable. so he said, go and marry rich guy.
and i said, there is no gurantee when you marry a man, even the rich one. he could find another woman, and he could leave you anytime.. and finally,he agreed with me.

a few days later, i was informed that he is married with 3 children. and he is only 24years old. he got married when he was 18.

ironicly, a few few days later, i received a news that he's going to get divorced.

married people will try to convince single people that marriage life is the best life by keep asking them, when are they going to get married and keep teasing the fact that they're still single. that is the way to cover up how unhappy they are with their marriage, and to make all the people experience the unhappy crappy marriage.

I'm not grieving for you..I'm coming for you

grief happens when there is a loss. death,loss of someone, loss of money and loss of job. (even if you're favorite football team lose)

there are 5 stages of grief
1.denial
you try to say you're okay even when you're not
i'm fine, i'm okay
it doesn't matter
that's a small problem
my team is still the best!!

2.anger
after tired of denying, you get angry at everyone. why is this happen to me??!
what have i done to deserve this??!what did i do.
what's wrong with steven gerrard?
at one point, we are angry at everyone, even the one who doesn't involve. "I hate cristiano ronaldo!!"

3.bargaining
this is the stage where you have a little bit effort to fight it, but in a wrong way.you bargain,you let yourself be as low as possible to be accepted, and for yourself to accept the truth.
i'll do anything
"pick me, choose me, love me" - Meredith Grey

4.depression
it happens when you think hope is gone. suicide is the best solution for a messed-up mind. some people don't want to meet anyone. Some people choose to live in the dark.

5.moving into acceptance
this is the hardest stage to reach. some people didn't manage to reach this stage. maybe they're stuck at the depression stage, or they were already dead of suicide, literary or non-literary.
some people try so hard not to go through the first 4 stages, so they proceed to the last stage. they might think they are moving into acceptance, but they're actually in denial stage.
it's okay to go through the grief stages. it's real, it's life, it's the truth. sometimes you will get stuck in the first 4 stages, and it repeats, like a circle.
try a little bit harder

one of the moving into acceptance criteria is i love you enough to let you go, fernando torres.hahahaha.seriously!!!!

Break another little piece of my heart

Cristina: Burke was- He took something from me. He took little pieces of me, little pieces over time, so small I didn't even notice, you know? He wanted me to be something I wasn't, and I made myself into what he wanted. One day I was me Cristina Yang, and then suddenly I was lying for him, and jeopardizing my career, and agreeing to be married and wearing a ring, and being a bride. Until I was standing there in a wedding dress with no eyebrows, and I wasn't Cristina Yang anymore. And even then, I would've married him. I would have. I lost myself for a long time. And now that I'm finally me again, I can't. I love you. I love you more than I loved Burke. I love you. And that scares the crap out of me because when you asked me to ignore Teddy's page, you took a piece of me, and I let you. And that will never happen again.
(Grey's Anatomy Season 6)

If you give every piece of you to almost everyone, what's left for yourself? So I stopped, giving.

the twisted sisters

WARNING: YOU MAY FIND THIS POST A LITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE


farah: mama ckp,kalau dpt interview,suh bg alasan kakak nk bertunang

farahayuni: kaklong berak
atin jelite
kaklong tgh berK

farah: kaklong memberakkan atin jelita
jelita diselubungi taik?
hahahaha

farahayuni: fuck u

farah: fuck u back

this is how i disappear

you were like popcorn in the middle of scary movie.
i should enjoy you, but the movie distracted me from enjoying every moment of you.
but you were there, and i used you.

a few months later, i longed for you.
but this time, i want you with a lighter movie scene.
so i could enjoy the movie, as well as enjoying you

You'll never walk alone

sometimes the distance, makes you closer to someone, it might be your family or friends..
sometimes the loneliness, makes you feel more love.
especially the Greatest Love of all the love in the world.
cause when you're alone, you'll have more time to think instead of talking nonsense, you'll seek for someone to listen to, to cry to..
and the best solution is through prayer..then you'll realize, God is always there.
the loneliness gives you more time between you and your God.
you feel that you have someone to hold on to, even when you're alone.
you can feel the existence, that eyes cannot see, ears cannot hear.
cause you are blessed with love from Him.

my work sucks.so everyday, i look forward for the end of the office hour.sometimes i just stare into the clock.
and always, we are waiting for the certain days to come. like they day we will be coming home, the day we will meet someone special and anyone's birthday.

without realizing that we are counting days to get older, and nearer to death. are we counting days to meet our Creator? are we even ready to meet Him?

and with all these world issues..killing innocent children, massive natural disasters, wars and even something happen to our first qibla, Al-aqsa Mosque..we all know that day will come, it's getting nearer..Hopefully Allah will always protect all of us.

Terjemahan Surah Al-Qiyamah (Hari Kiamat)


Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang

1. Aku bersumpah dgn hari Kiamat.
2. dan aku brsumpah demi jiwa yang selalu menyesali(dirinya sendiri).
3. Apakah manusia mengira, bahwa Kami tidak akan mengumpulkan (kembali) tulang belulangnya?
4. (Bahkan) Kami mampu menyusun (kembali) jari jemarinya dengan sempurna.
5. Tetapi manusia hendak membuat maksiat terus menerus.
6. Dia bertanya, "Kapankah hari Kiamat itu?"
7. Maka apabila mata terbeliak (ketakutan),
8. dan bulan pun telah hilang cahayanya,
9. lalu matahari dan bulan dikumpulkan,
10. pada hari itu manusia berkata, "Ke mana tempat lari?"
11. Tidak! Tidak ada tempat berlindung!
12. Hanya kepada Tuhanmu tempat kembali pada hari itu.
13. Pada hari itu diberitakan kepada manusia apa yang telah dikerjakannya dan apa yang dilalaikannya.
14. Bahkan manusia menjadi saksi atas dirinya sendiri,
15. dan meskipun dia mengemukakan alasan-alasannya.
16. Jangan engkau (Muhammad) gerakkan lidahmu (untuk membaca Al-Quran) kerana hendak cepat-cepat (menguasai)nya.
17. Sesungguhnya Kami yang akan mengumpulkannya (di dadamu) dan membacakannya.
18. Apabila Kami telah selesai membacakannya maka ikutilah bacaannya itu.
19. Kemudian sesungguhnya Kami yang akan menjelaskannya.
20. Tidak! Bahkan kamu mencintai kehidupan dunia,
21. dan mengabaikan (kehidupan) akhirat.
22. Wajah-wajah (orang mukmin) pada hari itu berseri-seri.
23. Memandang Tuhannya.
24. Dan wajah-wajah (orang kafir) pada hari itu muram,
25. Mereka yakin bahwa akan ditimpakan kepadanya malapetaka yang sangat dahsyat.
26. Tidak! Apabila (nyawa) sampai ke kerongkongan,
27. dan dikatakan (kepadanya), "Siapa yang dapat menyembuhkan?"
28. dan dia yakin bahwa itulah waktu perpisahan (dengan dunia),
29. dan bertaut betis (kiri) dengan betis (kanan),
30. Kepada Tuhanmulah pada hari itu kamu dihalau.
31. Kerana dia (dahulu) tidak mahu membenarkan (Al-Quran dan Rasul) dan tidak mahu melaksanakan solat.
32. Tetapi justeru dia mendustakan (Rasul) dan berpaling (dari kebenaran),
33. Kemudian dia pergi kepada keluarganya, dengan sombong.
34. Celakalah kamu! Maka celakalah!
35. Sekali lagi, Celakalah kamu(manusia)! Maka Celakalah!
36. Apakah manusia mengira, dia akan dibiarkan begitu saja(tanpa bertanggungjawab)?
37. Bukankah dia mulanya hanya setitis mani yang ditumpahkannya(ke dalam rahim),
38. Kemudian (mani itu) menjadi sesuatu yang melekat, lalu Allah menciptakannya dan menyempurnakannya,
39. Lalu Dia menjadikan darinya sepasang lelaki dan perempuan.
40. Bukankah (Allah yang buat) demikian berkuasa (pula) menghidupkan orang mati?






Renungkanlah sahabat2.......