try sleeping with a broken heart

so i spent 3hours on my bed (is not actually a bed, just a thin mattress)
and still no sign of sleepiness.
all i can see in the dark is things around me moving, statically.

so i switch on my laptop, and blogging.

i am so fucking sad because i cannot go to kelly clarkson's concert. i told myself a few years back that the only concert i will go is kelly's and i found it's impossible for her to come to malaysia cause she never came after all of her tours before this.

i am so fucked-up

i feel like stabbing someone 9 times straight to the heart, and let him live with a broken heart, with really ugly big scars. and i have the image of someone already.

i am so pissed-off with my job. with all the desperate girls and mindless boys.

and let myself drown in cherry bomb
and i feel bad!!!
and i feel sinful of my awkward desire. but i will let them stay in my mind only. lock them, and don't ever let them out. don't let my kristen stewart desire out!!!