Give Me Novacaine

warning: don't read if you hate me writing all about me, in a whiny annoying way


i have an asshole boss. who never satisfy even when i work almost 24 7. i have girls problems and boys issues. i was at the darkest moment of my life.

i always listen to people's problems. to people who is so obsess with themselves. why are they keep staring at me omg. i'm the main attention here. is my dressing too obvious.

i listen to people who perfectly fine.good job, high salary and obviously very nice boyfriend. but wants to create her own drama. i think my boyfriend doesn't really love me. when i asked why. replied,i just think. whether you are blind or stupid. and she added, i think he's not ready to get married. OBVIOUSLY you are just 23 and he has lots of sisters and family to take care of.

and i listen to people who have a real dark problem. cheating boyfriends. broken families. and daughters who don't want to get married, asshole boss like mine (really), and stupid colleague who thinks he's the boss. these are the real people with real problems. listening to others' problems make you feel less alone.

but when i have these kind of problems, i don't know how to express. i tried to call him, wishing for some kind of comfort, (though i'm not going to tell the problem). he didn't pick up. i understand he's as busy as me but what the fuck. i was there when he was dark and twisty. i listen all the time. i don't talk at all. I fucking listen. but where are you when i needed you the most. ok i don't care cause i don't really care. so i went into my office, make a scene to my colleague, i think he is the only person at my workplace that i can show the real me. he could see how mentally ill i was. he offered to do part of my works.good! he offered me to sit down and talk when he knew i have a personal problem. and he knew what is my personal problem! i could be obvious sometimes. i talked, finally. and it feels sooooooooooo fucking goooooooooooooooood!

now i'm going out having fun with my girl friend

tomorrow,
back into dark and twisty mode.

good night misery.

see you tomorrow.