i lost myself

i used to wonder, how people can get addictive to drugs. how does it feels, to feel the needs. how do they even know that all they need is drug.

and recently i happen to have a lot of headaches, aching stomach, and difficulties to sleep. so i take this kind of medication, it is specialize for heavy toothache. i took it for 1 week, and then only i can go to bed.

then i stopped. cause i know this is unhealthy. my liver need to live for something.
and i already stopped for 1 week. and i feel something missing. the headaches getting heavy. insomniac is dancing every night. counting sheep doesn't help at all. and finally after 1 week of self-rehab, i lost myself into drugs again.

i cannot explain to myself how does it feels, but i know that the pills is what i need for me to breath again.

so this is how it feels to get messed up with the pills, drugs and medication.

and i don't want to end up like kurt cobain...