A Messy Tale

Case 1
when someone being in a relationship for too long, or after one break up, she'll easily get the rebound guy. then, she cannot stay single for so long. she will be very dependent. she will say i will enjoy this time of being single. then she starts to attract all of the people attention, through networks. try to be inspired and be positive minded. starting to bother all the friends that she doesn't really care when she had the-whatsoever-one. starting to sing songs like single ladies and independent women. which is ironic because - hey you are not that independent!!

Case 2
and when someone stays single for so long. she will become loveless. bitter. independent. and comfortable with that zone. and she will be annoying with the case 1 people. she will be too attached with friends and family. sometimes, when she met with the-whatsoever-one, she cannot give all, and give up on him, because she scared/ or don't want to loose the people she loved behind. she is afraid to be like the people in Case 1. very dependent. she saw how their hearts were broken, and they tried hard to mend it. she feels pity and sometimes annoying towards these people. and these people happen to be their loved one. family. friends. so she hates them, and she loves them too.

Case 3
A friend of mine once told me that he will wait for his sisters (younger) to be married first. as the first child of the family. then after he has no longer responsible towards his sisters, he will get married. but he is now getting married and his sisters don't even have boyfriends! he told me too that he left his car at his hometown so his sisters and parents can use the car. he better off motorcycle. ( oh what a man!) but the truth is, his girlfriend used his car to work. he always kind of said that his girlfriend will listen to him. but the truth is, when his girlfriend accused him for having an affair with his friend, he cannot say a word, or defend himself or his friend. coward. this kind of boy, will make up stories that prince charming really exist. and those kind of ignorance girls will believe it anyway, especially the girl in case 1. which case 2 women will hate the most.

Case 4
a man, who never defended himself in front of his boss, though he is right, is defending his colleague when his boss go and yell at her too. and he is obviously not a malay man. case 2 women, may fall for this kind of men, but, as i said earlier, she will be terrified, and run away again.

Case 5
I used to be fernando. but now i am plain boring and messy.

close to you

1. we'll arrive at the airport.


Madrid-Barajas International Airport Terminal 4

you can travel in this country by bus or train.


2. madrid aka raul gonzalez



Manzanares River in Madrid



Catedral de la Almudena, Madrid


3. Alhambra (arabic meaning the red castle)

Alhambra Palace

The Church – Cathedral of Cordoba Spain, popularly know as the Mosque of Cordoba or the “Mezquita”, stands over a Christian church built in the Visigothic period (5th C).

4. setenil de las bodegas - city under rock

5. Valencia aka ex-david silva

Night view of Ciutat de les Arts i les Ciències, València - city of arts and sciences

6. Barcelona aka David Villa

Palau Nacional, Barcelona

7. Northern Spain

Islets near Liencres in Piélagos, Cantabria, Spain

8. Spanish Language

3rd most spoken language in the world.

9. spanish football.

spanish football clubs is world wide know especially real madrid and barcelona. spanish football team won 2010 world cup and 2008 euro. - spanish stadium is a must!

10. spanish tour guide/ people. aka as spanish language teacher. please choose. anyone.

p/s - i want the leftest one.

sapa nak pergi spain?????

Dead Garden

I don't know whether it is pathetic, or special.
but what she wants, no one wants.

she was trapped with her very own fantasy land.
but colours with brutal reality.

she is too realistic,
no one can take it.
she feels like killing everyone who looks at her,
but no one get killed.

have you ever listen to her story?
where she built this fence around her garden,
then came this mindless careless stranger.
causing chaos to the garden,
dismantling the fence, pieces by pieces,
plucking the flowers, squeezing the fruits,
until nothing left.

she has to start over, everything, her garden, her orchard, her passion.
it took 7 years to grow it all over again.
but she was broke, she didnt have enough money to build strong fence and buy good seed of fruits and flowers.
so she just play cheap. cheap gardening tools.

her garden is fragile. but thats how she lives right now.
she is more careful right now. she even sleeps in her garden.
do you know her story?
have you ever been to her messed-up garden?

slow night, so long

what happens in seven years, backward or forward.

what happen in big grey's life.

as we can see from season 1 until episode 709, so many things change.

bailey, who was the nazi, now has a bunch of hanging out friends at bar! and is talking about her love life, though she was drunk that time.

chief, still the chief, though been down once. but now, the easy kind of chief.

izzie, who was perfectly perfect, with the beauty and the brain, was diagnose with brain tumor, became bald, marrying her once-to-be-enemy and divorced. and we dont know where is she now.

george, who was a nice man, cheating on his wife with his best friend and died because of the bus accident. tragic.

alex, who was a bad boy, and meredith, cristina and izzie sickly hate him, became their good friend.

cristina, who was the best, the smartest, and the toughest, is leaving the surgical program and became the bartender.

meredith, who was dark and twisty, who afraid to fall in love. who didnt want to have roommates. now, is happily married, and has 5 roommates. thats a lot.

life is unexpected. we try to plan, and make it accordingly. but things happen. if we look back what we were 7 years ago. is it a huge different or still the same. our biggest problem 7 years ago is chemistry teacher. and how to hide the forbidden things like cellphones from our hostel wardens.

and what are we now? still the same?

and what will we be? in 7 years. will we break like cristina, or die like george? or still standing where we are now.

life is too short to wander around. make it happens. do things that we want to do. spontaneous, or well-planned. do not be too careful or too careless.


and the best line for this episode..

Meredith: Remember when the chief said only two of us would make it?

Alex and Meredith: I thought it would be me and Cristina.
-grey's anatomy 709.

live the unexpected. who will expect i will eventually marry fernando torres someday?hahahaha. muchas gracias.

eat.pray.sleep

recently i have this dry lips problem. so yesterday i decided to wear some lip gloss/balm to work. usually i wear it before sleep if my lips dry.

usually i go to work from home at 7.30 but yesterday i went at 7.00am. and a lorry is blocking my car. i tried to push the lorry (hands break down even!) it didn't move at all, luckily there are a few men came and help me. then i went to petrol station and while i did the petrol station business, the uncle came and interview me. which is weird because usually i don't look inviting.


then i went to work, through the road i seldom use.. and i was LOST!! but not that far. thank god.

that day, i went to site 3 times (usually 2 times)

and here comes night.

so my colleague promised me to send the daily report to me so i can send to my boss. i have completed mine and waiting for his, so i could send to boss, offline and go to sleep.

i text his company number and he didnt reply. i text his personal number and there goes our text conversation

me: nak hantar report ke x? kalau x aku send dlu

he: sape ni?

me: (mentioning my boss name, its a joke!!!)

he: ni tunang dia.. ni kan personal no.tq

(so i didnt reply)

he (or she actually):nape slalu sgt msg dia bkn wktu keje?hari kerje boleh ckpkan

(mls nk lyn)

he/she: ada hati dgn dia ke?slalu sgt msg2.tau x kami dh kawan 10thn.tlg cube jgn ganggu hubungan ni.

(so i finally replied. to clear things)
me: td suruh hantar daily report nak hantar kt boss.xpelah.pesan kt dia nanti hantar time office hour. sorry saya pun dah ada bf jugak dont worry k
(hahahaha monologue dlmn)

he/she: ko msg lg aku gtau bpk (his name) perkara ni

then she text again. this time it was like HE is the one who replied:

he: weh ko tolong jgn ganggu aku lagi.aku x nk ko call atau msg no ni lg.

(i didnt reply. i just shut down the hp and went to sleep. the next morning, today i received an sms from unknown number

she: aku mintak tlg whai perempuan hamba tuhan, ko jgn msg tunang aku lg boleh x.ape motif ko.knp slalu msg dia. apa mslh ko. hal keje kt tmpt keje.x perlu msg2,jgn jadi perempuan jenis x malu.mlm pun nk msg hal keje. ni last



my comment.
i was so shocked at first. but then it turns out funny. luckily i dont lose my temper and handle it like a woman.seriously can you be professional. this is obviously about work. and did you really know the real him?? we are nothing. he even thinks i am a lesbian(ehem). he even talked about his affairs and girls issue, even when he is already with you.he already cheated on you, but not with me. we're talking about football and stuff. with him, i am totally gay. we are like marc and callie. we have past and history, but now we are good friends. she is ruining the friendship thing. i used to laugh at him when i saw his facebook. and his fiancee whatever, tagged him in every of her status. i wish i could laugh together about this with him. as he always make fun of me too.

thank you.

emo mode switched off

btw, i don't know, maybe it is from the lip gloss/balm thing

and sorry if you think this is something personal to talk about.

turning on the straight mode!!!

Waiting for the end to come....

Jo was lying on the floor. she's at her lowest point. Anna came in. lying beside her, asking

Anna: what's wrong?
Jo: my best friend is going to get married.
Anna: that's a good news. you're suppose to be happy.
Jo: I suppose. i am the one who introduce her husband to her. all she ever wanted is to have a husband. and i don't want her to be alone.
Anna: but why you look so sad?
Jo: i feel so Alone. i already feel the distance.
Anna: (holding Jo's hand) You're not alone.

Jo was struggling to hold back the tears.

Anna: Just close your eyes. i will be here.

Jo closed her eyes for a few minutes. then when she opened, Anna was not there.
then Jo realized she was talking to herself. reminding her own self she is not alone. comforting her own self. Anna is herself. her name is Joanna.

that's ME trying

once, my lecturer has told the whole class. why people are not interested in engineering. one of the reason is... there is no famous tv series or movies about engineering. whether it is too damn boring. or producers cannot make money from that.

last night i watched this one malay tv series. (terpaksa, housemate pasang hahaha) about contractor company. and most of his time, he's spending time with his gf. seriously, contractor has time for that. asyek bercenta je.

so, based on my experience, if contractor's life was made into movie. the most suitable title is

DIRTY.BOROI.MONEY.

1. dirty:
the contractor environment is so dirty. wearing dirty shirt everyday. dirty construction site. full of mud and dust. dirty site office.
and they talk dirty. i mean the dirty talk-you know what i mean.
and the money also dirty. bribery is a common corruption thing.


2.boroi:
they are not fat. some of them are even handsome. but all of them are totally boroi (english translation, bloated stomach) maybe it is from the dirty money. idk


3.money:
contractor's mind, 100% about money. VO- variation order , when client or consultant ask to add work. money! EOT- extension of time, when the date line is closer, we want to avoid penalty. money! bidding tender, dont mark up too high, we wont get the job. dont mark up too low, we wont get enough profit. money! searching for the lowest supplier's price. money! some money are dirty! back to rule number 1.


there's no life. life is money. love is just for entertainment. not commitment. cigarette is part of the oxygen. girls are such an entertainment. for people who dont suit, they'll quit. back stabbing and yelling is like eating lunch. diseases are everywhere. and it trains you to survive 24hours without food and sleep. surviving skills.


if you dont think it is boring, i can be the next malaysia shonda rhimes.

ohhh boring. but it is reality. reality is boring.

raindrops keep falling on my head

kita tak patut bertembung kat simpang tu
tapi sebab jalan yang saya selalu lalu tu hari ni agak congested,
lalu saya ikut jalan awak.
dan awak bagi lampu tinggi kat saya.

awak, married.
kalau tak married pun, kita lain bangsa.
awak, talk about your marriage life all the time.
but awak at the same time flirting with me.

awak pernah tgk saya jatuh byk kali
bila saya tak stabil awak hulur tgn awak,
tapi saya ni konon2 nya kuat lah, baiklah, refuse.
and jatuh lagi akhirnya.

hari ni kita gaduh, awak tak contact langsung and panggil saya honey.
sebab kita penat with life.you run to your pasangan and anak
i got no where to run
so i'll stay here.alone at home.

i kind of missing your twisted words about love and money.
about life and to prove how naive i am.
the car conversation where noone could hear.
i miss you FERNANDO.


HHAHAHAHA NAK GELAK!!!

kisah ini mungkin benar mungkin tak benar. nak gelak lagi.


ok cukup.tak lawak. memang, i am fickle in love. so don't talk about love and commitment with me. at least, yet.

the four-letters word is...

we always think the 4-letters word is one of the most important thing in life.


last night i woke up at 2 am in the morning because i haven't perform my prayer yet. after about 3am. i when and checked the liverpool chelsea result. i'm ready for some brokenhearted result as liverpool performances really suck this season. shockingly won 2-0 over the no 1 champion chelsea. liverpool jumps from 16th place (out of 20) to 9th place. sweeterly, my boy scored both goals. oh my boy is back. i'm falling in love all over again.

i don't like to give high hope on things that i want the most. cause it will cause severe heart broken. when we expect the least, and the result is the most, the feeling will be over-joyed.

once a friend of mine laugh about the liverpool anthem, you'll never walk alone. she said that you are always alone actually. so the fans always stick? whatever whatever bimbo. of course we will never walk alone. if we don't have any friends, or family members, or our friends kick us out of her house, WE STILL HAVE GOD. that's why i'm not afraid to be alone. i went to langkawi, terengganu, then johore, kl alone. i knew noone there. everyone thinks i'm brave. only god knows how terrified i was. you can kick me out of your house, i don't care. i used to be independent and alone. i search for a new home myself. my family thought me to be independent. my mom never provide me with her house. i didn't gain 4k a month, working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, working in a big company doing nothing, through cables, or my relative. i work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, low-paid salary, searching my own job, at the same time finding my own home, ALL BY MYSELF. and thank god i have really good friends, supporting me. and of course family. i'm never alone. you can throw me anywhere. i am still a liverpool fan who never walk alone.

and i am not a fucking moron who thinks 23 years old is too old to not be married. and desperately obsess over beauty just to attract men. and take advantage of other people's money. and kick friends who i think is not compatible with me. or make reminders to my friends that they owe me as i am a really really fucking good person. if i am that person, i will allow my brother to hit me. oh thank god my parents thought my siblings VERY WELL, with a little bit of rebelious perhaps, so they don't go and hit me. or annoy their friends.
people like her, never hear advice, or take the positive side of bad comments, cause they're full of themselves. cause i tried to advice her so many times. all she did was, show her horsey face.
" i am the main character here. like rosalinda whatever. i am such a beauty with good personality and will have handsome rich nice husband whatever the fuck it is"

okay sorry i'm going to turn off the sarcastic mode.


Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams Be tossed and blown. Walk on Walk on With hope in your hearts And you'll never walk alone You'll never walk alone. -Liverpool Anthem

btw, the four-letters word is HOPE. :D

you drive me crazy

imagine,

you are driving on the freeway. and you see a motorcycle through the side mirror. you give signal so you can change lane. and you don't see that motorcycle anymore. then you change your lane.

the truth is the motorcyclist is at your blind spot. you cannot see it because you are depending on your one side mirror only, without turning your head back, or looking at the other mirror. or using your brain fully. remember that the blind spot exists.

and you could crash into the motorcyclist. both of you could be dead. and if you are lucky enough, both of you will survive. who's fault is it? you are too ignorance about the blind spot. and he, on the other hand. is too selfish to realize the warning of signals. he think he's smart, he could still pass you. or he think you are generous to let him pass first.

on the road, you don't have time to think slow. you need to think fast. you need to be street smart. you need to make decision. because, the life is at risk when you are on road. one minute you could be perfectly healthy, and another minute, you could be dead. and sometimes, it's involving other people's life.

so does life. life is like driving on the road. one way street, highways, freeways, one lane road, and narrow road.


sometimes you have two choices of roads. using highway which is faster, wider, and less congestion. or you can have a free-toll and more congested road. there are always two factors to consider. money and time. but you might forget, the accident risk of the road.

there's always risk. and you have to decide.

but don't be too careful, it can cause congestion and accident too!


You can't be too careful anymore
When all that is waiting for you
Won't come any closer
You've got to reach out a little more
More!
-Paramore, careful


p/s - hello, di sini ada maksud mendalam. kalau termampu untuk smart fikirlah.