goodbye forever

estudiame.blogspot.com

farah.im87@gmail.com

20 minutes too late

story 1:

you know how soft a woman can be. she had a fight with her boyfriend. her boyfriend treated her badly.she is so angry, she decided to have lunch alone. driving alone, she decided to stop at this one burger stall.

" burger two, please"

two?

yes at time like this, though she is very angry with her boy,
still she bought for him.

story 2:

i have experience thing like in story 1 also, and "he" is not my bf. he is a good friend of mine. but i bought food for him anyway. but the moment i reached at my office, he was not there. and there was another person. so i gave the other person the food.

at first he refused, he said
i'm going to have my lunch afterward with someone.

i said.
just eat lah

he
did you buy this for yourself? you don't have to give me because i'm here

i
i already ate

he
did you buy this for "annoying guy's name"?

i
no lah. i bought it for anyone i saw first.

(actually i didn't see him first, there's and old man, sitting at the front of office, but he's asleep. and i don't like him.haha)

then he opened the package.
he
this is the special one. where did you buy this?

(i didn't answer, just smile. i don't want him to know how far i went to buy this.)

he
luckily that old man is asleep.

eating happily

hahaha it's funny because at first he said he's going to have lunch with someone. but it feels so good to buy food for someone like that. usually grown up people don't appreciate if you buy something for them.

and the good friend of mine, came in 20minutes later. 20 minutes too late.
he missed the special food.

unlike you

i need to change the blog link.

first of all, i'm going to resign in less than 1 week, and i don't know why i can't delete the blog history from my company's laptop (padan muka guna laptop company utk peribadi)

and the most, it has the name torres in it! ha ha. now i know how does it feel if you think you love someone, marry him and change your last name for him. you think you have forever with him, but he cheated on you anyway. you changed your name everywhere. after you divorced, some ignorance people still call you by your ex-husband's name. in my case, some of my friends call me fernando / torres. and still, some of them call me that. and i have to explain - i don't love him anymore. we broke up (poyo, i know).


and i have to admit, without fernando, it feels empty without any obsession.
grey's anatomy is getting a little bit dull.
no new movie by kristen stewart.
no new album by kelly clarkson.
and
i went and obsessed on inappropriate things.

and still, i have no idea for the new blog link. i have to think until the end of this month.

any suggestion?

p/s- remember the catalyst, i will tell you about this 'catalyst' person in my next post. xoxo

that's when i'll stop loving you

as the february walks away,
the winter will be gone soon,
but the coldness,
has just begun to knock on the door.

as you decided to choose ordinary,
there's a reflection of unhappiness in your eyes.
that keeps creeping in your brain till 4 am,
and emptying your pocket, everytime.

as you were chasing me,
i was running away.
when i am done running.
you have stopped chasing.

as i wait here, grieving.
you have moved into acceptance.
leaving me with the fake winter,
starting all over again at the end of february.

PMS (pre missing-U syndrome)

you are such a disease.
and i think i'm going to die soon.
i have only 1 week left to live.
before i disappear completely....

seperti belangkas yang terkandas

have you ever heard the saying "macam belangkas"? belangkas means horseshoe crab. the saying means that a girl and a boy, who are always together, whenever, wherever. because in reality these belangkas really are found, in a couple form, at shallow sea area.

so few weeks ago, me and my colleagues went for the past time activity, catching belangkas, while waiting for the barge and whatever construction work. we cannot eat the belangkas' meat cause it doesnt have one. but we eat their eggs, but of course lah only the female has eggs. in order to get the eggs, we need to kill the belangkas.

so after catching the belangkas (both female and male). we released the male. and barbecued the female.

the point here, will the male belangkas survived? can he be independent? can't he live alone after being SO clingy to the female.

crap!

P.Y.T.

i remember she told me her story. the day when the truth reveals. she was walking with him by the river. he offered her his hand, and they were walking holding hands. and then she pulled away her hand. she asked "why do you wanna hold me?"

he said " cause you looked so lonely. and i was there. i was here. to make you feel less lonely"


he is so pathetic, he left his wife, waking up every two hours to feed the baby. he is so lonely because his wife kept asking for money. cause he had to work alone. he is so lonely for making this girl feel like the lonely one. he is so lonely for leaving his wife alone. he is so lonely for chasing this girl around. he is so lonely by telling the world that this girl is his girl. he is so lonely, when he left this girl back to loneliness to get back together with his wife.

this kind of men are idiots.


I have a patient too. Wanna know what happened to my patient? She had a 40 hr labor & the baby was stuck. So, she just had to push & push & push. Know what you say to a woman in that kind of pain? You say 1 more, 1 more & you’ll have a beautiful baby. I know it hurts but 1 more & you get a baby. That’s how you get a woman to tear her body apart. You make a promise & she hurts herself because she trusts you. Then when the baby comes out & it’s not…when it’s not right….you have to tell her you were mistaken. Makes me kinds of lose interests in what you deserve, Mr. Cabbage patch. - Lucy, Grey's Anatomy

writing you off, trying

the emotions explode.
the feelings mixed up.
there's no word to describe.
every sentence full of grammatical error.
every misspell.
wrong vocabulary.

without you.
i don't want to move forward.
i lost the poetry in me.
i stopped writing.
my world is back to ordinary.
my life is suck!

before we were waken up.
we seemed happy.
we laughed like we had forever.
we thought we had.

after we were waken up.
we were caught up in silence.
everytime.
we were one inch away, but we lost for words.
you tried to make a bitter statement.
trying to make me do things that i don't want to.
though you were drunk and i was sober.
the conversation was getting deeper.
you were no longer cute, and i was no longer in sweet silence.
and we ended up in the dark alley, dead silence.
no solution.

before the break.
i tried to show no emotion.
i tried to act perfectly fine.
and i guess you're okay.

after the break.
i live anyway.
you seemed to move on easy.

reunite.
we tried to show no emotion.
we won't look at each other.
won't talk to each other.

day by day passed.
you're so perfectly shiny for me to resist.

after a day together,
a day apart,
then a day together again.
we talked really a lot.
like there's no tomorrow.
you laugh a lot and it's so cute.
i make jokes which is very random.
you brought me to everywhere.
as if you wanna keep me.
but we know that you won't.
i wonder did you ever miss me.
cause i miss you so much.

maybe this is not forever but i'm enjoying the moments.
let me be the victim, cause i don't want to be the bitch.
in this game. i know i'm going to win, but i am the one who will get injured badly.
maybe i won't be able to play the next game.

p/s you're close enough to see that you're the other side of the world to me