let go of me

what we did is wrong
i have no one to talk to
so are you
and for right now
all we have is each other
when the time comes
when someone else met me
when it's time to let go
you have to let me go
and never hold me too tight

me is not necessarily me

i was thought to build the bricks around myself
for protection from the outside world
from the bad weather
covering myself with roof

i've been living like that for almost all my life
sometimes, my heart and my brain combines
willingness to see the outside world
and with bare hands and legs
i've climbed my own wall
for not being strong enough,
i slipped and fell

tired of this routine
i decided to break this wall
let the outside wall see me
the ugly me
so i could see them too
i could breath the fresh air
see the bigger space
i have wasted half of my life for living inside myself
for building my own barriers
for ignoring the knocking doors
for being too afraid of the ordinary

it's time to live. then die

a feeling that turns into some sort of responsibility

Throw your soul through every open door,
Count your blessings to find what you look for.
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown.

-ADELE

current mode. FUCKING BITTER

baby,
nasi sudah jadi bubur
pisang sudah pun berbuah tiga kali
your biggest nightmare will ALWAYS come true
no matter how optimistic you tried to be

TRY ME. IT'S FUCKING TRUE.
OPTIMISTIC IS JUST A WASTE OF TIME, ENERGY AND FEELING.
*PISSED* THANKS.

some men tried so hard to act cool. dengar nama kau saja aku mau termuntah sudah. damn kan

all we know is falling apart

in the beginning it's logical
shifting to natural
how do we end up so tragical
instead of miracle

the way the things were buried underground
strengthened the soil
so it will keep everything together
concreting fragility
building bricks around it
closing up like a box
except for a narrow window
and an unopened door

the chaos and riot
ps i miss you idiot

Kuala Selangor King Bed

in the forest, they survived
a few meters apart, their eyes met
face to face, the chemical explodes
in the distance, she's bleeding

when he left, she could never look back at him
when she turned around, he's completely gone

in her single bed,
she's bleeding
she's breaking
she's weeping

the tears she's been holding for months
roll gently on her cheeks
wishing
creeping
for happiness
for sadness to depart instead

she knew, if he makes her so extremely happy.
he will leave her in the end

so it happens again
the tragic ending of another short story

my heart skips a beat

feeling numb, by the way

Kathy BethTerry LOL

Oh my god
No exaggeration
Boy, all this time was worth the waiting
I just shed a tear
I am so unprepared
You got the finest architecture
And the rainbow-looking treasure's
Such a sight to see
And it's all for me
-KATY PERRY, PEACOCK

you can find art in fart.xoxo

uninvited

why do people stop waiting
stop
believing
wanting
hoping. why?

why do people moved on.
move forward.
left behind.
left blinded. ?

why do good things come when we don't want it anymore?
when it is no longer a good thing
when thing is getting worse
at all the wrong places and time

why do we have to ask the no-solution question.

with you without me

i did mention.
the hider looked pissed off
and i am a little bit of lack of entertainment.
because the realer and the faker had demob.

so the hider knock-knock on my door.
for some work related.
after that, i asked the hider to go out to p.m. with me.
so the hider grinned, and asked, "with you?"

well
i miss the realer
i used the hider
and i am enjoying the faker

i mean it

women make a scene once a month

i'm sorry

for the ignoring, for the ignorance
the hider really looked pissed off

because you're going..
people are meant to meet to be apart
people are meant to be born to be broken
people are meant to mend to rebroken
people are meant to laugh so they could cry
is one door is close, and another is open, there must be something wrong with the architecture.
as there are meant to be only one door in every home.
and there is a fake door. kitchen door with broken lock where people don't use anymore.

i'm sorry if the realer has became the faker.
and the faker is an ass.
if the hider chose to leave.
and i myself choose to unlive.

bedtime story

so the rat met with these three snakes.

1. the fake s word. - aka faker

2. the hidden s word. - aka hider

3. the real s word. - aka realer

so when the rat met the faker, she thought that the faker is the real s word.

so when the rat met the hider, she knew that the hider is the real s. somehow she didn't feel the connection.

and when the rat met the real s word. it is actually took a while before she could realize the existence of s.

so one day, the king of forest wanted to bring the rat to a heavenly forest. but instead of bringing her, she was left alone. she was crying by the river. so the faker and the realer passed by.

the faker and realer: why are you crying

the rat: i was left by the king of forest, and he broke his promises.

(the faker silently left them)

the realer: it's okay. if you're gone, no one will take care of me

(the rat was shocked and was trying to walk away. instead, she almost trip)

the realer: you have to be careful. if anything happen i will be the one who is in big trouble.

(SWEET SNAKE)

the next morning. the realer was injured so badly, he could not even move. by the time the rat reach the realer place, he was dead.

and the rat was eaten alive by the faker.

THE END

p/s- i miss the realer...