anything is better than to be alone

i was made insecure
even by the closest people of my life
whenever a guy wants to get near me
people will say that he must be chasing for something else
even my mom said so
so what's the point of believing anymore
being optimistic is hopeless kind of crap
i was reminded everytime, they will only love the chase
my money
and in the end
i was reminded that, i am not capable of being loved

even when i was little,
i was given the littlest attention among my sisters and brother
as i was growing up, i was left in the corner of room
so i found my comfort zone there
where noone was looking

sometimes, it gets so lonely and aching to hide in the closet.
but to face the truth, that noone will ever save you.
some people were born with beauty, fame, money,
they can get whatever they can
so for them to meet someone like me, they will wonder why i chose this path
a path that is going nowhere.
sometimes, some people are given only one path
no choice
like the fortunate one
why cant they understand

i was made insecure
now im totally lost