last man standing

when everyone left, she is the one who picked up all the pieces. all the shit thats left.fix and repair. she is the one who has to settle down with the material defect list. touching up all the cracks. finishing up all the broken painting. replacing the broken mirror and glasses. picking up the rubbish. house keeping.

she will stay until the end.
she is not the first person that people will notice. not the kind that will appear in the first episode of the story. she will show up when there is no more hope.
she is the last hope
she is the one who will defend at the final door
she is the goal keeper.

she is the last woman standing

my favourite mistake

yes,people make mistakes.
i make mistake all the time.
because we are living in repetition
and we learn not to do it again.

people make mistake of choosing the wrong friends.
trying cigarette.
saying wrong words at the wrong time.

but the worst mistake is, refusing to know someone.
by accusing that, that person is not a good person.

because the worst mistake is, the mistake that you will never learn.

if you refuse to be his/her friend. to accept her/him as part of your community, how could you know he/she is bad? you will never know cause you will never try. you will never regret. and you will repeat the same mistake. you will never learn. looking at the bright side, you could change her/him. you wont loose anything from the additional of good person in this world.

bukankah manusia itu semua sama?
kenapa perlu membeza-bezakan.
bukankah sesama manusia itu bersaudara.
kenapa perlu menindas?

try to accept people
and learn from the acceptation

p.s. 1 miss you?

the garbage girl

client boss: why is there too much rubbish here

clerk of work (C.O.W) (coming from distance): it is in the drawing boss


DAMN

at first i thought it was the cow's joke. but then my friend said, the cow thought the boss is asking about work-related things. so it is obviously the cow is too confident, if boss asked about anything, the answer will be--it is in the drawing. even the RUBBISH!

my life rocks-barney(not the purple one)

there is absolutely no work. and my boss still dont instruct me to go to the other sites.

8am go to site. (actually 8.15 lah)

no keje no keje. 10 am balik. buat filing, susun drawing. 12noon-sleep until 2pm.
2pm wake up.siap2.almost 3, go back to site. jalan2 until almost 5. then balik.
i really mean no work.

rasa macam makan gaji buta. but thinking back the time i work 8am till 7pm everyday it is worth the pain. even my working hour is 8 to 5. sometimes work until midnight if there is concrete work etc2.

so finally my first complete project finish. 6 months. 107units of houses and 8 other buildings.
before this i spend 10 months on incomplete project (5800mt tanks and piping). but i already resign.

cant wait to construct 400 units of houses!!! this december, could be. love the challenge.miss the hecticness

car crash

i cant sleep
everytime i sleep, i have this dream of searching r and i cant find r
and i waited for r to come, to call me, and r failed
r just disappeared

and reality sucks too

i remember someone told me when i was a kid, that i'm going to marry an ass just like someone (mentioned..).so thats why i am very insecure about marriage. i am afraid that its going to come true. my insecurities are getting thicker when i met r. everyone will definitely think r is an ass just by the way r looks. (accusing, yes!) but r is the only person in this world who thinks i am smart and cute at the same time. r is the only person who wiped my tears when i cried. r is my shoulder, my nagger,my listener, my friend. and now r just gave up on me cause r hurts. i was r's second chance and i screwed r.

just so you know, accusing other people of doing something they dont have any intention to do so is a sin too. if you have the knowledge, use it wisely. i hope we all can have the knowledge (ilmu), and apply it(amal), through our faith(iman)- (i was reminded by someone who doesn't have the education as high as me, and it is very embarrassing for me who forget about it even i pray and fast. thats what friends are for, right)

and i am in no position of judging people as i am the person who always makes mistakes. if you are my friends, and you think i did something wrong, be the real friend and talk straight to my face. not talking behind my back. thanks.

baru lepas kena marah

it's funny (or ironic?)

when you think you found someone you love, who loves you back

and everyone that matters to you, disapproved it

as if he never really love you

when finally comes, everyone just said, indirectly

NOONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU DEAR..

how pathetic is that

MYOB

when i gave my blog link to certain people, it means i trust them

trust them to see the darker side of me, the weaker side of me

but when they use it to go against me

to let me down

to make it a point, whenever we have an argument

like telling me "who are you to say anything, you are one depress woman"

i feel like, should i change my blog link again, or make it private. let the strangers read, cause strangers wont judge that much

but whenever i changed, they will search and ask me

is it lovely to bring me that low?

mind your own blog

supernova baby

even when the moon is using me,
even when they look at the moon and compliment its brightness.
even if me myself is adoring the moon, secretly
i will stay out of his brightness
as i dont want the moon to get hurt
like the others
the other moons from the other planets
from the other universes

so i will lay on the dead grass
ticking on the hourglass
waiting for another shooting star
who keep on shooting while i was sleeping
deep down in my dream
turns out to be a monster

so i do
let myself hurt
cause i dont want the moon to get hurt

and in the brightness of the morning,
i could still see the moon
squatting by the window
waiting for me and what i bring
then run into the door
disappearing into the morning brightness

and i am not ready to let it all out
like i already did in my brain