everytime i sleep, i have this dream of searching r and i cant find r
and i waited for r to come, to call me, and r failed
r just disappeared
and reality sucks too
i remember someone told me when i was a kid, that i'm going to marry an ass just like someone (mentioned..).so thats why i am very insecure about marriage. i am afraid that its going to come true. my insecurities are getting thicker when i met r. everyone will definitely think r is an ass just by the way r looks. (accusing, yes!) but r is the only person in this world who thinks i am smart and cute at the same time. r is the only person who wiped my tears when i cried. r is my shoulder, my nagger,my listener, my friend. and now r just gave up on me cause r hurts. i was r's second chance and i screwed r.
just so you know, accusing other people of doing something they dont have any intention to do so is a sin too. if you have the knowledge, use it wisely. i hope we all can have the knowledge (ilmu), and apply it(amal), through our faith(iman)- (i was reminded by someone who doesn't have the education as high as me, and it is very embarrassing for me who forget about it even i pray and fast. thats what friends are for, right)
and i am in no position of judging people as i am the person who always makes mistakes. if you are my friends, and you think i did something wrong, be the real friend and talk straight to my face. not talking behind my back. thanks.
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