you ruined it once, never twice

and now, why are we talking about feelings,
like it is a thing
as if you have one,
as if you ever hunt
as if we had one mutual, once
or perhaps twice

and what are you doing asking about my feelings
like it is your thing
investigating me
as if i have one
as if i am your case
did u ever amaze

like i said, i am gladly rejecting your invitation to the dark december
to our misery december
i still remember
every detail of it
though it was erased a bit by bit
like the sound of your heartbeats

disappearing in mine
disappearing in yours
and whats up with the phone calls
and i'll call you next time
and only stupidity will leave me
as if you are one of them