Lesson learnt

things could change really fast. in a beat of the heart. as fast as the grey hair could grow.
a house i thought was a home turns into something strange to live in.
a family once i used to tell everything became so isolate
a friend i used to hate becomes someone i miss, just because i know how she really loved me that much
a woman i really hated (and everyone did too) was walking with me in the bazaar ramadhan just now n turns into someone sweet. jalan ramai2.ofis blakang bazaar je.
the friends without getting too involved once i thought i never had becomes a friend who helps me
someone i think i dont like at my first sight because her bubbly personality becomes a sister i am missing, and turns out to have a sad background story
and i cant believe i was kind of yelling of the enthusiasm  in the meeting because i am really into and enjoying the meeting. and everyone did too. like yelling and joking at the same time. and some of them really young people (older than me but!) but really knowledgeable and talented.
and a friend who always said i was her best friend, turns out to drag about my witchiness to her fiance which i thought was my best friend (well i know she was talking behind my back because her fiance said to me.what a fiance)

i was so depressed before all the sad things happen to me because i was out of gratitude. but then i realize how lucky i am (though not the luckiest) that god still save me from the worst thing in life. i learned to be happy over the littlest thing in life, its ok thats just life. it doesnt last forever.

amame

i want the picture, or image, to remain in my brain
in every loss and gain
but it just went away
seeking for replacement
then it repeats itself
with the same mistake
as if we had the choices to make

Dark side

used to be crazy over her. before kristen stewart. gone to her concert.

and suddenly, i met someone who looks like her. and that smiling face. constantly.
and suddenly....

will you love me? even with my dark side.

please remind me who i really am

light up light up

best-friend. but not forever.
you asked me what am i doing over the weekend. and you showed your pictures.
and i am, on the other hand, too proud to ask about you, and too scared to tell everything about me.
sometimes, i end up talking to the ceilings and walls.

and i found this temporary friendship kind of..i dont know, someone is just funny the way it is. the way that some eyes could see.

lets just pretend that this is forever.

as if we had forever.

if tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love. 

Just what you’re thinking of. 

If tomorrow never comes.

just in case

its funny how i was so crazy about you.
its funny how i used to hate you.
its funny how i used to dream so big.
and its crazy how i used to stop dreaming. and be numb
out of the blue. just because of you.
its crazy how my old friend still thinking i am still with you
and my new friend is teasing about me and you
though i publicly show off my new one.
how funny that i pretend to be obsessed about my new one.
its funny how i could hate you in a split second.
how funny that i think that i already moved on.
its funny how much i hate you and how far i moved on, but i still kept your pictures and belongings.

just in case you show up...