Running away

i was running for 4km yesterday and 5km today. hoping to increase to 6km tomorrow

i/ we (my friends and i) have been running for 3 weeks today. though i am the slowest and weakest, but it feels so good.

it's like you are running towards something, you have a target in life. you have someone with so many rewards waiting at the finishing line. the truth is noone is waiting but it feels good

though you feel like you are running towards something, but the bitter truth is, you are running away from something
running away from the office politics
from job insecurities
crazy bosses and seniors
crappy workloads
no-knowledge gain in current position
running away from debts
running away from financial insecurities
from the crazy high pricing things
running away from the crazy feeling of missing home
from missing the old mother who never forgets to text you everyday
from missing the cute little nephew who you are afraid might forget you
from missing the little brother who is no longer little but still uncertain about the future
from missing little sister who is having a little too much fun at the young age
from missing the father and his excessive love towards the world
and from missing big sister who is already happily with her little family
from the crazy family illness ups and downs
running away from the scary little future
the uncertain future
wondering if you are still able to stick in it
even after two years you are strongly in it
and YES, mostly i was running away from the future.
and from the thought that you might not be in it to walk this crazy world of mine.
but i guess, i already lost you and part of my future.
and the gloomy future in front of me, i dont know whether i was running towards it or running away from it

if only we could turn back our time